This organization has come into being for the sole purpose of liberating Gnomekind everywhere. Too long have these wonderful people suffered under the cruel mistreatment of humans. Man has looked down on these poor people for too long only because they are lacking in height. This discrimination must stop, and it is up to each and every one of us to see that it does. No longer shall these once proud people be forced to remain outdoors and fight the elements while their human owners enjoy the comforts of climate control and central heating and air. No longer must Gnomes suffer the extreme heat of summer, nor the severe and biting cold of winter. Never again shall Gnomekind suffer the indignity of being bombarded with bird feces. Never again should a Gnome be the victim of a careless pizza deliver driver, for there is no greater fear among the Gnomes than that of being crushed by an automobile. With cruelty and careleness humans place the Gnomes in precarious and dangerous positions; I say to you this must stop now! I am officially beginning my crusade to save the Gnomes here and now, this Thirtieth day of March in the year 2000. This is also a call to arms to all those who would sympathize with the plight of the garden Gnomes. I put it to you to take up the fight where ever you are. The next time you see someone has cruely forced a poor gnome to sit among their garden, steal the gnome away. Do whatever it takes to save the poor fellow. This cruelty must stop.
Sincerely
SPRKYTHDVL
Please contact SPRKYTHDVL for more information and or any questions you might have about the organization. Also I would like to compile a list of operatives active in this organization and keep track of thier progress, so if you could photograph any gnomes you save, scan the pics and send them here. (send an alias for your operative name) This will be a long and hard fought war, but every battle we are able to win is one step closer to our final victory and the liberation of Gnomekind everywhere.