Headlines for: 11-18-2001

MASTURBATION TOUTED AS ‘GREAT HOLIDAY STRESS RELIEVER’ SAN FRANCISCO (Wireless Flash) – Ladies, if holiday stress rubs you the wrong way, you might want to start being a little touchy in public. That’s according to Sadie Allison, a 30-year-old San Francisco woman

WITCH ADMITS ‘HARRY POTTER’ BAD BOX OFFICE SPELL HAS FAILED HASTINGS, England (Wireless Flash) – A male witch in Britain who placed a “bad box office” spell on the new Harry Potter movie admits his spell has failed.

GERBER BABY MODEL TURNS 75 TOMORROW (NOV. 20) CHICAGO (Wireless Flash) – You may not know the name Ann Turner Cook but you’d certainly recognize her baby face. Cook is the original Gerber Baby and posed for the famous baby food

MARGE SIMPSON: BEST-TRESSED CARTOON STAR LOS ANGELES (Wireless Flash) – It’s doubtful many people would want to walk around with a Marge Simpson sky-blue hairdo – but that hasn’t stopped her from being declared “The Best-Tressed Cartoon

BARBARA EDEN FINDS HER INNER NEAT FREAK IN ‘ODD COUPLE’ TULSA, Okla. (Wireless Flash) – Barbara Eden is discovering her inner neat freak by playing the female Felix Unger in a ladies’ version of The Odd Couple.

DEATH-BED PATIENTS NEEDED FOR EXPERIMENT LONDON (Wireless Flash) – A British ghost researcher is looking for terminally-ill patients to participate in a soul-searching ghost hunt. British filmmaker Ross Hemsworth wants to determine once and for all if the

TURKEY ROASTERS GET BURNED DONNERS GROVE, Ill. (Wireless Flash) – It isn’t just turkeys that get burned on Thanksgiving – so do the people roasting the turkey. That’s according to Carol Miller of the Butterball Turkey Talkline,

TROUNCE YOUR TERRORIST TROUBLES BY LISTENING TO TAPES CALEXICO, Calif. (Wireless Flash) – Losing your fear of terrorist attacks may be a simple as listening to an audio tape. That’s the claim of California-based psychoanalyst Carlos Fonseca, who

WINDMILLS COULD MAKE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS A BREEZE FLAGSTAFF, Az. (Wireless Flash) – Worried that high energy costs will turn you into a Grinch with Christmas lights this year? Well, a windmill salesman from Arizona thinks he has a solution.

FLASH LITES: RIP ‘N’ READ POP CULTURE RECAP BLOOMFIELD HILLS, Mich. (Wireless Flash) – Eat this, Martha Stewart: A new poll shows 75 percent of cooks ask mom for advice on cooking Thanksgiving dinner, compared to only 7 percent who get tips from Martha.