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And thus the saga continues

Stories

The years passed swiftly, on occasion the great boar would in his travels, visit mother and child. He would spend his days with the boy child coaching him in things that were a mystery to Ulrika. They would run into the forest with the child riding aback the Great Boar.

In the winter of Yoricks fifteenth year, Braxxas came with news, he took the boy aside and said:

"You are to have a brother." The Boy looked confused.

"Ya mean Ma's gotta bun in da oven?"

"No not your mother and this is Oracle business so speak proper. No the Oracle has seen. He who is your father has coupled with she that is his wife"

"The Oracle has seen this."

"Well most of it, his crystal ball kept getting fogged up by a heavy breathing Wombat, suffice to say the oracles predictions have been fulfilled and we must take the next step for your destiny will soon be upon you."

"I've been practising watch...!" With that the eager child leapt to his feet and ran at the nearest tree, as he neared the tree he turned towards the Boar searching for approval and ran straight into the tree bouncing off with a high backward somersault and landed in a heap on the ground. At that moment the mother came out of the front door of their chalet and shook her head with a sigh of resignation. She glanced at the Boar and noticed the look of stunned amazement (If boars can do that) on his face.

"It's OK ma I'm all right." and quickly moved to her, in his haste he put his foot in a bucket, swore to himself as he tried to pull it off, hopped backwards a step and stood on a rake, the handle of which flew up and cracked him on the head pitching him forward so he landed face first in a cowpat.

The boy slowly lifted his head up and with careful deliberation scraped the cow doo out of his eyes and smiled sheepishly. Ulrika shook her head knowingly, the Boar silent.

Suddenly the great Boar threw back his head laughing rolled on his back, his feet waving in the air......
"Dat wuz great, I never seen a pratfall done as good as dat by any kid your age. Da timing wuz great, ya measured da rake and went onto it BACKWARDS! Pure genius, and da fall to da cow pat ..... Wow! and da "get up", not to fast not to slow, poifect. Kid ya gonna go far, ya gonna be da greatest Jester ever." Braxxas paused his voice changed

"But now we have more serious matters to attend. We must enjoin with your mother" Braxxas led the Boy back to the porch where Ulrika waited.

"Old Swine sometimes I wonder, I spend much of my time teaching him to use weapons to defend himself in an increasingly inhospitable world and you teach him to run into trees and fall on his face in cowdung, I still don't understand"

"You will dear lady, for today I bring news. It is about Yoricks father"

"Who?"

"Er the man who fathered your Son...!

"Oh! Him!.... Sorry... Um can you describe him"

"You don't remember Yoricks father"

"Hey, we bonked for a couple of weeks, whats to remember, He wasn't that good."

"Yes, well it's probably a Royalty thing. Anyway suffice to say that in a little under nine months Yorick will have a new half brother.... His destiny is written. He will bear the prince upon his back a thousand times he will kiss his lips I know not how oft"

"Oh no! He's not going to be that way is he?"

"'Tis alright, my dear, tis a medieval thing, I have it on good authority that men kissing each other in a pure friendship manner will not become 'uncool' for at least another 3 or 4 hundred years"

"So what happens now?" The boy was anxious he could feel an adventure coming.

"We must away to Elsinore you will not become a Jester for another 5 years or so, but you must be ready, you must be in place and ready take on the role, for surely it will come."

Yorick turned to Braxxas

"But what am I to do for my half Brother, I've never had a brother or a sister" He looked in mock accusation at his Mother.

"Aah! Don't start that again. After I had you, I had to make a decision, all those weight problems or celibacy. No contest. Besides I work better on my own..... And i have Zucchinis. There are at least 101 reasons why a zucchini is better than a man! No. 1 Your could store 'em in a refrigerator if someone would invent one. 2 They don't expect you to make conversation, 3..."

"Yeah allright tha's enough we better get going before da boy gets a complex and starts suffering from Penile erectile dysfunction."

"Whats that!"

"Dunno, but I saw it in the Oracles crystal Ball it's gonna be real important one day"

"Ah Okay." Yorick had learned that the Boars pronouncements were often better left and slowly realisation would come over time.

"So what is it that I am to do with my Half Brother"

"That young one is simple, you are first to teach him to act and secondly convince his Mother that in time her son will go Mad."

"Is that all."

"That's it!"

"Smeg it! I could do that without a Head"

"There is that chance yes..... Smeg? What is Smeg"

"Hm? Oh who knows Mother has been introducing me to some really weird people I probably got it from them"

Copyright G.Lauder Aug '99

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