Attitude
1. No one is punker than you are, you are great, you are purple-haired you are PUNKER THAN THOU!
2. Don't let anyone get away with not knowing rule number one.
3. If anyone ever disagrees with you, flip 'em off. Oi!
4. Authority sux, DOWN WITH THE GOVERNMENT!
5. Punk is a lifestyle. It's what you make of it. oi!

Lingo
1. Say "oi" a lot. It's a nice, compact, easy-to-remember word.
2. Say "poseur" (and remember to spell it with a "U" on a computer) a lot. Who cares what it means? Just tell someone that he or she is a poseur, and if he or she asks why, just scoff and say, "You KNOW why, bitch!"
3. "Sellout" is also an often-used term. It doesn't matter to whom you say this to, or what about. When someone talks about, oh... say, spatulas, say "spatulas?! That shit's for sellouts."

Visuals
1. Two words: duct tape.
2. Ball chains and piercings (especially nipple piercings. Oi!)
3. Punks do not believe in taking showers. Don't be uncool, let the dirt grow under those fingernails!
4. Old t-shirts sporting band names (of bands listed below) and leather pants. And boots.
5. NO NAMEBRANDS! PISSY SELLOUTS!

And now to the less important stuff...
Music
Remember: it's all about the music.

1. NOFX!
2. Greenday!
3. Blink 182!
4. Pennywise!
5. The Offspring, but only the old Offspring. That Pretty Fly shit was sellout material. Down with selling out! Oi!

Now that you're all punked up, it's time to

Start your own band.
1. Get some members. Just yell out "oi" and whoever responds is in.
2. Write up some lyrics about how much selling out sucks, a breakup with a nonexistant girlfriend, and make them rhyme, like so:
My girlfriend is lazy
She drives me crazy
I can say she's it
I can say she's the shit
We go out for coffee
we go out for tea
Whenever I see her face I say
Oi shit! She's the one for me.
Cuss a lot in your music.
3. Add some touching three-chord music to those lyrics and you've got material good enough to impress any intellectual [who is severly drunk]
4. Take off some article of clothing in your set. The more, the merrier.
5. Say "we suck" over and over again, so when reviewers actually say that you do, in fact, suck ass, you can respond wittingly, "We told you so."

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