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Re: My first poem


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Posted by sandy on Sun Jan 16 19:10:02 2000: IP Address: 209.78.79.205

In Reply to: My first poem posted by Diamond Jester on Mon Jan 10 17:57:20 2000:

: This is the first poem I have ever written and I would like some feedback on it.
: Be honest but be gentle. Thanx.

: Blacken Love

: My heart pounds with a violent Rage

: Dripping red through the black

: Like a wounded panther locked in a cage

: Im never knew love until you came into my life

: I can't make u understand what you mean to me

: And then u cut me like a searing knife

: All I am and all I have I owe to you

: I'm lost inside and don't know what to do

: The pain blackens my heart with hate

: The end is near bound by a bloody violent fate

: I run from the pain hoping to escape

: But it surrounds me like a thick black cape

: Now it's over and I wish it wasn't so

: I can't stand the pain

: So now I must go

: So farewell to u my dear

: The blackness has comsumed me

: There's nothing left but hate and fear.

i think this is a good poem
keep it up man!!
love,sandy


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