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fruits of the spirit


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Posted by raven reznor on Wed Mar 1 00:36:32 2000: IP Address: 24.4.254.195

Its a overcast day in New Orleans I decide to go to the store and look
for the new smashing pumpkins cd. On the way I see Britney Spears standing
on a corner looking over at a guy sitting on a bench reading the paper.
I decide to spy, I park my old brown junker in a dildo store parking lot
and get out. When I get around to the corner I act like I'm getting
some drugs from a nearby drug dealer, I look around at who britneys looking
at and lol and behold its my god trent. I scream and drop all my money
on the ground Britney sees this and runs to pick it all up the drug
dealer gets his chance and grabs her by the arm taking her into a dark
ally. I walk over to the bench and say,"Arent you that guy that played
as ginger spice in that movie spice world?" Trent looks up at me cocking
a paranoid eye brow. "I think you have the wrong guy.." Trent says as
he gets up and slowly walks away with his paper. I follow him until he
stops dead in his tracks and says, "Why are you still following me?"
I freeze and tap him on the sholder and say, "I know who you are mister man type
person. Your Trent Reznor arent you? From that really weird band nin."
Trent realizes hes got a psyco on his hands and says,"Look I don't know
you..and you don't know me I've gotta go bye." He throws his news paper
down in a rage and walks off quickly. I smile and think to myself,
"He wants me!" I follow him home never more then 495793474 steps behind.
When he gets home he locks the doors and took a hot shower..I know these
things because I wrote this so I can make it as kinky as I want.ANYWAY.
I got Trents access code off the internet from someone because
they know it because I don't know. ANYWAY, I snuck into Trents house and
pissed all over his leather couch and poisoned his dog. I could hear him
in the bathroom wacking off to a porn he was watching on his 30 inch
Tv above the bathtub. I chuckled madly to myself and went into his bedroom
he had a whole closet filled with pretty dressed and womens undies.
I shake my head,and think outloud "oh dear some men." I look at the
pictures all lined up on his nightstand. Marilyn manson with a pink
ribbon tied to his little cock, and oh yes a picture of David Bowies
swollen testicles and right next to that a picture of Courtney loves
pussy with a cd stuck in it. I sigh and walk around suddenly I hear
him open the bathroom door, I hide in his closet quietly. He came in
with his white robe on and sat down on the bed. I smiled evily to myself.
He gets something out from under his bed, a red box. I watch closely.
He takes a key out of his robe and unlocks it and pulls out a yellow
suit. Then he stand up and puts the box on the bed and drops his robe.
My eyes almost pop out. Standing there naked Trent reached into the
box and pulls out a little can of face paint. Then he puts the yellow
suit on it appears to be a giant banana costume, he then walks over to the
mirror to apply the yellow face paint. After he gets all dressed he
locks the door to his bedroom trapping me and him in there although he
has no clue. Then he gets ontop of the bed and jumps up and down screaming
"YOU ARE THE PERFECT BANANA!!" Then he rubs his banana suited body
and screams. I laugh a wee bit too loud, he stops scared out of his mind.
I cover my mouth and sit as still as I possibly can. He walks over to
the closet and jerks the doors open and sees me sitting there. His eyes
get the size of golf balls as he opens his mouth and screams as loud
as he possibly can. "OH MY FUCKING JESUS CHRIST!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU
DOING HERE YOU INSANE BITCH!!" He screams as he kicks the walls.
I look around and say, "I just wanted to be a banana like you Trent!"
Trent stops kicking and turns and looks at me and says, "Are you serious?
you really wanna be like me and my fruity self?" I smile and say,
"Oh Trent I will always be your banana!" He smiles and pulls out a joint
from his costume. I take it and smoke it while he takes out another
one for himself. Then he looks through his closet,"I know I have another
suit in here somewhere for you sister raven!" Trent exclaims.I smoke away laying on his
bed looking at his vast array of condoms all in a collectors book.
Then he finds one and pulls it out and says, "Here we go, its not a banana
but we can still fuck with it." Its a red cherry costume I undress quikly
and put the suit on. Trent lays down on the bed waiting for me as soon
as I'm done he smiles with his sex-c-ist smile I jump on the bed and roll
over on top of him and he says, "Are you ready to make sweet sweaty
fruit salad love?" I nod and he pulls out a blinder from his pillow and
he pushes me down on it and then we roll around on it til we get
all chopped up. After we finally make the final fruit cake we
put the blender away and lay there all bloody covered in fabric and
peices of fruit. I gaze into his rooty tooty fruity eyes and say,
"Trent that was the best fruit sex I have ever had.." He smiles and
says, "Its the only fruit sex you've had." I blush and say, "How did you
know?" He licks his lips and says, "I poped your cherry with my banana."
THE END.


the moral of this story is that you can eat shit on
the last day of the moons faze
don't fax dolphins' assholes




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