I must share this story everywhere I can.

Okay. So we were watching the Top 20 Christmas Songs on VH1. Imagine our surprise when Merry Christmas Happy Holidays is number FIVE.

And then, we get to see the video. I hadn't seen this thing in...forever. And back then I still hated NSYNC. This should be fun.

JC wears a Santa Hat/Goggle combo. I like it. I'm ill.

Dude, you have like a JC's Head fetish or something. You like him in weird headgear. I don't get it. I don't care how hot you are, you can't pull off a santa hat and goggles. That's just strange. Oh, but you like his puppet hat on the tour, too, don't you?

You're weird.

Gary Coleman is an elf. From NSYNC to Kid Rock. He's moving up.

NSYNC appears, shouting "What'chu talking 'bout Gary?"

Joey's driving a sleigh. With goggles. Looking happy about it.

What're you saying, that it's okay for JC to wear goggles, but not Joey? Pfft.

At the end, there are these random children. JC is with the cutest little boy, opening presents. There's a moment that KD loves, where Chris is singing to a little girl, and JC walks by, looking all paternal. This is much better.

Check it out. I don't love that moment. It's cute. No- it's a JC Moment that doesn't annoy me. That's what it is. Plus, it's a biological imperative, okay? Women are programmed to like men who like children. It's like the most basic way of judging a guy, on his Dad Potential. Even more basic than his Goggle Hotness Factor.

Just reread that. I don't mean to imply that I now like JC or anything. Nor is this me protesting too much. It's cute and that's all it is and stop trying to drag me down with you, WD.

Although... :cough: I must confess that I'd sort of like to see it. Damn me.

They dance around a tree. Oh, happy day.

But anyway, interspersed between video footage, they show the photo shoot for our WT banner. With the wifebeaters? And there's this footage...you know the pic where JC is over Joey's head doing that split? You mean the one where Joey's head is up JC's ass? Yes, I remember it well. Well, beforehand, Joey is spinning JC over his head. Like an pairs skating move? You know, JC is laying flat, and Joey is spinning him. And then...

I still don't know if I believe it.

Joey lets go and...

SPINS JC ON HIS HEAD LIKE HE'S PALMING A BASKETBALL.

No. No. No. NONONONONONONONONNONO. But- is JC's stomach lubricated? I... I don't understand. Is that humanly possible? Did they take a class to be able to do it? How can JC keep himself stiff enough to be supported only by Joey's Big Giant Head? That's horrifying, you know. It's just not right. Satan spawn! All of them.

I screamed so loudly we got in trouble by my Dungeons and Dragons playing neighbor. I never, ever want to see Joey spinning JC's stomach on his head again.

Maybe it's like foreplay for Joe. Or- a worrying thought- for JC.

"C'mon, woman! You and me! Whatchu say, girl? C'mon! Spin me! Faster!"

Ew. Wish I hadn't thought of that.

I'm scarred.

I just got an email from Karen, who sent me to this page... [7th and 8th wonder of the world together?]. I think this may explain why Joe was practicing some of his wrestling moves on our beloved Yaycee.

That is just so... bizarre. So bizarre. My head is going to explode. The input, the input...

I mean, I knew they were freaks, but this? Sheesh.


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