2. How do you feel about Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour? Since I was Saved, my relationship with Him has been central to my life. Don't lay that crap on me. He's an interesting historical figure and, quite possibly, an ethical example to us all. I'm a lapsed Catholic and I don't want to talk about it. I feel that publicly embracing this kind of shit will win me love and approval across the board
3. Translate the following phrase into Ebonics: "It was Britney's decision to keep our relationship under wraps. I love and respect her. She's just the best." Quit harassin, cuz I'm gone floss regardless. Just in case y'all forgot until you chumps ax me I'm still the shit! Man, I got real pissed when they tried to make me look like I'm not real or sumpin'. I been real 4 EVAH, yo. Done mess wit me or Ah'll cap yo ass. Yo, Iz hittin' dat dime droppin' skank, but she want ta keep it on the downlow. She wuz only suckin' mah jimmie tho. I wuz mad stupid fo messin' wit dat, but done hate me cuz I'm a playa. I'm tired of these haters throwing salt in my game. I'm gone let y'all know my mackin' style tonight. I'm a pimp and playa and I'm gone be one! Get some business'.
4. How do you feel about JC's singing voice? It's glorious, wonderful, perfect, words fail me. It's okay, I guess, although that wailing thing he does gets to me. It wastes space that could be used by Justin. It's pretty good. I'm not sure which one he is.
5. Do you believe that Justin could have made it in the NBA? Are you on crack? You need more than height and a fro to be a baller. I've never seen him play, but somehow I think it's on the same level as Lance's NASA fantasy. Justin can do EVERYTHING. He is one step down from God. Actually, he's pretty much on the same level as God. Justin would be about nine times as good as Jordan. And if you question that, I'll have to put the smackdown.
6. Baby blue: Like it. Love it. Don't care. Gayass color. It's the color of Heaven, of angel's robes, of God's socks. Perfection.
7. What do you think of men who collect basketball shoes? Whatever floats your boat, dude. What, like used ones? That's fucking nasty. It's weird, but I collect stamps, so I shouldn't talk. It's the perfect thing to collect. I'd really like it if my boyfriend took it up. If I opened a guy's closet and it was full of stinky old shoes, I'd get the hell out of his house. Sounds kind of fetishy to me.
8. Curly hair on men: Is okay. Is sometimes really attractive. Loser! Mall hair on men: let's not. God has curly hair, you know.
9. The thought of Justin and Britney makes you feel: Aw, ain't they cute? I haven't really given it much thought. Like I'm going to die. My chest seizes up and tears run down my face. She's the luckiest girl on the planet. Luckier than people who fall out of airplanes at ten thousand feet without parachutes and survive. Could they be any more plastic and still have a pulse?
10. If I met Justin Timberlake, I'd: Say hello and ask him to stop using his Beadazzler. Fall on my knees and worship, mumbling incoherently and weeping tears of joy. Ask him if he can sign my ass. Give him the name of a really good therapist. Die of sheer happiness.
You are Justin's soulmate. Correct answers: