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| All times CST | 7:00 PM | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 | 10:00 | 10:30 | 11:00 | 11:30 |
| CBS | The Real Wor- uh, I mean Big Brother. Competitive Lounging | More Shit We Stole From the Germans. | Touched by a Clown. | Everybody Loves Heroin. | Survivor News. | The Late Show. Comedy- no, really, it is | Off the Air. Craig Kilborn | |||
| PBS | The Rise and Fall of NBC at the Hands of Jerry Seinfeld. | Howler Monkeys Shitting on Antique Armoires. | Telethon for Our Failing Telethons. | |||||||
| ABC | Who Wants to Give 33% to the IRS? | Whose Line is Scripted Anyway? | Who Wants More Shit We Stole From the English? | NYPD Jew. | NYPD Jigaboo. | Regis News. | Nightline. Men in suits news | Politically Incorrect. Special one hour dialogue on Mideast peace talks, featuring experts Carrot Top and Cindy Margolis | ||
| NBC | What the Hell Happened? | Dateline. Dangerous cars that suffer damage when crashed into walls at 150 mph | Kevorkian News. | The Tonight Show. An hour of selling out | Late Night. Heir to the Sellout | |||||
| FOX | When Millionaires Attack. | Family Guy. | Family Guy. | Family Guy. | Family Guy. | Syndicated crap. | Syndicated crap. | Tae-Bo. Rerun | Family Guy. | |
| UPN | Malcolm and Eddie. | Tyrone and Omar. | Marquise and
Frederick Douglass. |
Moeshaquita. | Star Trek Voyager. Jeri Ryan's breasts flying through space | Movie. Straight to Late Night Syndication, starring Corey Feldman | ||||
| WB | Spoiled Rich Kids Crying. | Spoiled Rich Kids Pondering. | Some Wayans Shit. | Good Shows That Appear on the WB Only in Syndication. | ||||||
| MTV | Total Shit Live. | Commercials With Flashing, Mesmerizing Colors. | Cavorting Young Males. | Cavorting Young Females. | Total Shit Rebroadcasted. | Loveline. Idiots helping idiots | A Break From the Music. Britney Spears, N'Sync, et al | |||
| VH1 | Behind the Music. Mick Jagger, David Bowie's penis | Videos of Artists Even Their Mothers Hate. | Behind the Piles of Fetid Shit. John Tesh | The List. Most memorable vomit-related rock star deaths | Where Are They Now? Ricky Martin- S & M store | |||||
| ESPN2 | Squirrel Leg Wrestling. | Large Men Lifting Large Objects. | People Jumping Out of Planes and Being Judged Arbitrarily. | Sand Gargling. | Extreme Biking on Yachts. | This Week in Compound Fractures. | Fiery Cat Tossing. | Make Your Own Full Body Cast. | Mountain Dew Commercials. | |
| HBO | Stereotypical Italian Americans Being Fat, Swearing, Shooting Each Other, and Using Lots of Hand Gestures. | Chris Rock. Fuck, shit, pussy, ass, cock, motherfucker, etc. | OZ. Watching it is just like being in jail, except your ass doesn't bleed as much | Movie. Tit Factory of Jail Babes 3, starring Shannon Tweed | ||||||
| DISCOVERY | Australian Guys Putting Their Heads in the Mouths of Crocodiles. Comedy | The Digestive Tract of the Boll Weevil. | Sharks Are Mean-Looking Fish With Sharp Teeth. Part 1 of 16 | |||||||
| DISNEY | Special Investigation Into Why the Hell Mickey Mouse is Popular. | Preview of Disney's 102 Dalmations. | Preview of the 102 Dalmatians Toys, Mugs, Shirts, Bumper Stickers, and Ointments. | Nazis Ain't So Bad. | ||||||