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Some Dude
Got to Fuck Elizabeth Hurley
HOLLYWOOD– British actress Elizabeth
Hurley announced via her spokeswoman Thursday that she is pregnant, leaving
many to come to the barely cognizable deduction that some bastard actually
got to fuck Elizabeth Hurley.
“Elizabeth is absolutely
thrilled about the child,” said her spokeswoman.
Even more thrilled
is the dude who was allowed both to see Hurley's naked body and to probe
it at will. The “father,” as she calls the man, is writer/producer
Stephen Bing.
Bing, who no doubt
cupped Elizabeth-fucking-Hurley's tits in his bare hands—and survived—could
not be found for comment, leading many to believe he is in a coma.
Not surprisingly, Hollywood
residents were stunned by the news.
“Are you shitting me?”
said one Hurley fan. “This is beyond reason. This is like touching
the face of God.”
“The most amazing thing
is that I've never heard of the guy who fucked her,” said another male
fan. “No, wait, the most amazing thing is that someone fucked Elizabeth
Hurley in real life. I'm more likely to believe news about a paraplegic
climbing Mount Everest backwards, and on fire.”
Hurley, who weeps daily
at her milky white skin, expects the baby in April.
“I'll believe it when
I see the child exit her vagina,” continued the fan.
Hurley has appeared
in the movies “Bedazzled” and “Austin Powers” and had a 13-year relationship
with actor Hugh Grant, but she is best known for her magnificent tits.
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