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Sound; I’ve had the new Filter song in my head all day long. Sight; I’ve stared at the monitor for the last 7 hours. Have I told you that I despise mathematics in every form? Unfortunately that’s what they pay me for. Taste; I have been a glutton, but a content one. This morning I started out with a large depth charge and cheese grits. Then Patrick (the other Patrick at work) showed up with munchkins from Dunkin Donuts, I think I had about 5. Then lunch consisted of mashed potatos, green beans and salsbury steak. I’m surprised that I was battling an afternoon of narcolepsy after that. Dinner consists of leftover lo mein and pot stickers. Nummy. Touch; It’s amazing the difference in your hair if you just use a good conditioner and no hair products. It feel soft and smells sweet. Like a woman should. Smell; I found my bottle of Anais Anais, a spritzed all over myself before walking out the door this morning. I smell fantastic, if I may say so myself. |
November 15, 1999 You want fries with that? I am a ignorant American. Is this a bad thing? It is if you are trying to order Chinese takeout from your favorite restaurant without a menu. I argued with the man on the other end of the phone for 10 minutes about whether they had chow mein. By god, they had chow mein. Who did he think he was? I had eaten there so often that I think I sent his children to college. Well, alright, community college. He finally laughed at me and said in his broken english… "Oh, miss, I have LO MEIN though." Well slap my ass and call me Sally. I was wrong, he was right, he was laughing at me. I imagined that after he hung up that he was doing the same thing we used to do as children, except he was widening his eyes and saying "You want fries with that?" instead of our version "Me Chinese, me play joke, me put pee pee in your coke" with our eyes slanted. Now before you begin berating me for stereotyping and bigotry, let me say that a few of my best friends put pee pee in cokes. No, what I’m trying to say is that we were kids, and it was funny as shit then. Now it’s unacceptable, and I don’t find it quite as funny. But if I found it completely distasteful, I wouldn’t have repeated it here twice already. Here’s another thing though. If I was teaching a foreign language in school, I wouldn’t sit on my ass in a classroom to show kids how important it is. I’d take them down to the liquor store where I used to have to cash my paychecks and let them be talked about by the different nationalities in languages they can’t understand. I’d let them see how much that irks them, and show them at least one good reason to learn another language. I still wish that I was capable of turning around and say "Fuck you, you ignorant boar of a man" in fluent, streaming, scathing, perfect accented Spanish and read the guy studying my chest up and down. It’s never too late for night school though.
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