Then around 10am I woke up, and Adam had my head in his lap. He already smelled like a sweaty man and was sitting on our bed covered with sheetrock mud. But he was ever so warm and he was whispering in my ear that he came home to wake me up, bring me coffee, and kiss me. Whatta man, whatta man. He let me lay there for a few more minutes and then I got up and fixed my depth charge

. Could a girl ask for a more perfect way to start the day?

He had to turn right back around and leave which usually bums me out, I dislike spending my weekends alone because we see so little of each other during the week now. But today I woke on a mission for OWB, so I felt very happy about being alone, because that meant I didn't have to work with the guilt of ignoring him.

I completely revamped the pages before noon. I'm pretty pleased with things. Tell me what you think.

I joined the Naked Truths webring, my first. The first journal I ever read was from that ring, it's Nanette's page. Check it out. She's smart and she's in publishing too. Solidarity, Nanette.

I worked straight through the day, and ran out of coffee, spring water, and cigarettes all at the same time. These are the few things I ask for in life, the simple things. The day turned ugly, even though I was actively allowing myself to angry at things I knew, in no way, had anything to do with the fact that I was going without two of my favorite vices. Then Adam called and told me he was going to be late.

I know you probably think I could've just gone to the store, right? It was the principle that Adam had not had the forethought to bring these things home the last time he was here, and I still don't have my car running. I have these day long mindsets. To me, it's like a protest, I'll suffer to make my point. In my mind it's noble and self righteous. To everyone else it's a very good imitation of a three year olds temper tantrum.

So when the unfortunate husband called and told me that it would be another 4 hours I lost it. Then later he called back 15 minutes before he said he'd be home late that night...

"So we were bracing the ceiling over the pantry because as soon as I had crawled up into it it made a loud POP! noise. Then it sagged about 2 inches and we thought the entire house was about to come down on top of us."

"Aren't you leaving now?"

"Yeah, but then..."

"Sweetie, I'm sorry, but I really need you to just come home. Can you tell me about this when you get here? I really want a cigarette."

"Fine."

Click.

He came home furious and hurt. Apparently his life really was in danger for a few minutes there and I was totally unconcerned in his eyes. That wasn't the thing at all. The fact that he was telling me the story in the past tense proved that he was okay, and we could move on and he could come home. That was my thought process. Then he sat with a big lower lip and glared at the television. 20 minutes later he looked at me and said...

"Aren't you even going to ask me to finish the story?"

WhatanassIam.

I thought that he just wanted to brood for a little while. He was aching to tell me but wouldn't until I asked.

So I turned off the computer, rolled him a welcome home joint and kissed him. After lighting it I asked him and he told me. A few hours later he fell asleep on the couch and I watched SLC Punk again.

I really need to study the signs he gives me more often. I made a few bad calls today.