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...I couldn't have made it one more day, I'd say a prayer of thanks but I can't remember which Norse God Friday was named for...was it the one of memory?

I awoke to Adam pushing me, pushing me because I was supposed to be at work in twenty minutes. Needless to say I didn't raise my arms too often today.

I only had time for the essentials. Luckily, I work in an office where it's not the end of the world. Now that I think about it, I'm not even sure anyone noticed I was late.


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Going up?




January 7, 2000
Sackcloth and Ashes

Slide Show In the morning, I have to attend my step-mother's baby shower. In the afternoon I have to go to work. In the evening, the family that I had the whole Christmas thing with are ALL coming to the apartment for dinner.

I'd rather stick a hot poker up my ass.

However, we have obligations in life...we follow through on these things. Atleast I do. Actually, I'd rather be in my pajamas on the couch with Adam's arms around me, pleasantly baked.

Come hell or high water, that's what I'll be doing Sunday. So needless to say, my entry for the 8th will be retroentered (ooh, I made up a word!)

My brother is almost here. Young Connor will soon be in the world of oxygen and awareness. What a culture shock this is going to be for the boy. When I think about Connor, it makes me wonder what our relationship will be like.

Not a single person I know has a half-sibling. What's expected? What I feel for him is no different had he been born to my own mother and father. I intend to behave that way. This child will be surrounded by so much love, I'm envious of his timing.

Now, the house that I grew up in is prosperous. Connor won't be born to a father working two jobs, sometimes three. Connor won't know the joy of the monthly trip to Value Village Thrift Store in the ghetto down Boulevard. He will not hear that he can't go on field trips and school visits to the Capitol because his parents have no money. He won't know the stress of watching his parents drift apart. He won't know the pain of being a Winfree child. His pain of being my father's son will be completely different than my own as his daughter.

Will we relate to one another? Or will our ages create too large a gap between us? If only that goddamned eight ball was worth the plastic it's made of...maybe then I'd have some answers. As it is now, I'll have to wait 15 years to have a clue about any of this. They do say that patience is virtue, I'll add it to my list.

Do you have a half sibling? Or a vision of Connor and I's future?What is your relationship like?



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