on
6/8/2002
Let's list our choices. First, we can go to the stupid thing. Second, we can go, then sneak into something else. Third, we can go, sit for fifteen minutes, and then storm out and demand our money back. Lastly, we can ignore the whole dumb thing.
How happy can we be to get something we don't want? It's like back when we were kids, and Grandma's big box under the tree turned out to be a sweater and a copy of Boy's Life magazine. I've been awarded free tickets to the movie Cherish, at the Kendal Square Cinema, on Wednesday night, through Boston.com. I didn't ask for them. I don't recall calling a contest line, or showing up at a radio station with "Opie Rules" painted across my ass. They just... gave them to me. By email. Appropriately, in my junk mail folder.
Let's review the blurb they sent:
Zoe Adler (ROBIN TUNNEY) is a 29-year-old computer animator with a tendency to speak too fast and too much whenever she feels uncomfortable - which is often. She has an ultra-cool boss (LIZ PHAIR) who openly snubs her, and a brand-new condo that she compulsively flees whenever she finds herself alone. To soothe her jittery soul, Zoe loses herself in romantic fantasies and in music, phoning in requests for her favorite 80s synth-pop hits to San Francisco's KXCH "Cherish" radio, home of sugary love songs from the 60s, 70s and 80s. Fantasy-prone Zoe must confront a life-altering reality when she is placed in a house arrest program in Finn Taylor's vibrant Cherish which also stars TIM BLAKE NELSON (O Brother Where Art Thou?) and JASON PRIESTLEY. Cherish is independent filmmaking at its brightest, and as irresistible as a summer radio hit.
This isn't a movie; this is a hangover dream. Never mind such ten-yard penalties as the mention of "synth-pop hits," "jittery soul," "Liz Phair," "Jason Priestley," "ultra-cool" and the entire last line of the capsule, this has the stink of a Sundance flick so rehashed and contrived that the jury had to show it, because it was the only entry guaranteed to get bought by a distributor. This would be worthwhile as a chick flick/date movie, except that no one mentally aware enough for you to ethically screw could sit through it.
Let's go back through our options. Number two is the most promising. (Is Kendal still showing Amelie? I love that movie.) Number three would be ideal, except that the same person who checked my name off the freebie list would be the one giving the refunds. Four, ignoring the free tickets, appears to be the most sensible, but it feels like kind of a waste. The only thing I know for sure is that I don't want to actually see the movie.
A quandry.
Touch the Toast