on
3/2/2002
Found on an internet bulletin board --
Author: Ayaka
Location: Learning to be a Doctor. Be nice to me, one day you might get sick.
Date: 03-02-2002 .. 05:16 AM
Thread: Men, you sux!
I can't believe how you behave, no belief, no consideration, no manners for fucks sake!
Men!
Replied to the internet bulletin board --
And now, a spirited defense of men...
The question before this House is one of terrible burden. Are we to believe that men, that is the male of this species, truly suck? For my own part, I consider this nothing more or less than the very hinge on which a young medical student may someday judge the opposed faculties of lesbianism and straightness. Should I hold back my opinions, through fear of giving offense, I should consider myself as guilty of treason toward my gender, and of an act of disloyalty toward the Majesty of the Y-Chromosome, which I revere above all but a great many things.
Candidate Doctor, it is natural for woman to indulge in the illusions of hope. That one may think herself wise for forgiving men their vapidity, sex-driven thought process and frat boy mentality at this collegiate age, is natural, though I don't know why. Listen on to the siren songs, even as they dash you against the cliffs of this message board at 5:30 in the morning. Listen, for what I tell you.
You tell us, Miss, that we are weak. We have no belief, no consideration, no manners, for fuck's sake! --unable to cope with so formidable a "chick" as yourself. But when shall we be stronger? Will it be the next week, or the next year? Shall we gather strength by irresolution and intoxication? Shall we demonstrate the means of inneffectual resistance by lying supinely about who we were with last night?
Miss, we are weak, even if we make proper use of the means which the God of Random Chance has placed in our power. We drive expensive cars, for it shall be the third question you ask us in bars. We ignore you and treat you as disposable things, for it entices you. Collegiate girl, know that we shall not fight our battles alone. Men are stupid and women are crazy. We hold this as our banner against submission, unless submission brings us sex. Base as our desires are, it is too late to retire from the contest. There is no retreat but in homosexuality and the becoming of a cat lady! Our chains are forged! Their clanking may be heard in the bars of Boston! The Hooking Up is inevitable--and let it come! Please, actually... I repeat it, Miss, let it come!
It is in vain, Miss, that you resist. Though you may cry Gentlemen, Gentlemen--but your eye is not for gentlemen. Users of the word "sux" are not for gentlemen. Our brethren are always in the field, but they find little reward in gentlemanliness. They know not what course others may take; but cry in their hearts, give me pooty, or give me death!!!
-- With sincere appologies to Patrick Henry, my own gender, and Ayaka
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