for
8/5/2000
On the first day in weeks when I won't see her, sitting, listening to the Dave Matthews Band, rain and fog outside and my depressed-looking school ID picture staring back at me for no good reason, I'm obliged to confront something.
Celebrate we willBecause life is short but sweet for certain
We're climbing two by two
To be sure these days continue
The things we cannot change
I remember this song, and you'll forgive me for digressing slightly. This song was playing in my head two summers ago. The moments of life did feel short but sweet, and it was because of the same girl. Ironies.
Enough looking inward. My concern is not irony.
A storm is brewing, but storms are always brewing. The question is whether or not my crew is able to deal with it. Me from any but my twentieth year might not have said yes, but this one will. It has to; that's the point. Don't lose the ship.
Here's the other concern I've been meaning to write about. I'm not used to being happy. Not to say that I'm used to being depressed, either. I gave that up years ago. But when we get right down to it, I'm extremely happy now, and I can't help but reflexively expect the bubble to pop.
I heard about a new kind of bubble stuff just the other day. It's a latex-based substance. When the bubbles are blown, they come off the wand like normal glycerin soap bubbles. However, the latex hardens into an ultra-thin solid, behaving like a normal soap bubble, but failing to pop. Progress is sure.
Experiment no. 2 in Common Usage: Dueling Metaphors. An argument taking place between two people who are each using different metaphors for an issue, or simply the process of two metaphors for the same issue battling for prominence in one's head.
All metaphors break down somewhere. One can only learn so much from his experiences, because this human sphere is not a game played by a few simple rules. It's not a game at all. This is your life, ending one second at a time, now for god sakes get out there and live it. You're going to get hurt, you're going to know sheer joy, you'll end up in places you didn't expect and do a lot of things that you could only do again in retrospect. Live, think, grow, love, do and make. Destroy, cry, break down and harm. Do what needs to be done, and prevent regrets.
Let's hope I've answered some of my own questions.
Writer's Note: That was random. Also, the play's opening weekend went well.
Touch the Toast