for
4/28/2000
Banners, folks. You want banners? I got banners. Banners, banners, banners. Banners to the Space Toast Page. Link to my site, please, I'm begging you. Step right up! How about this one...?
http://internettrash.com/users/spacetoast/pics/basic.jpg
Huh? Nice? Basic? Simple? Clean? Eh? Yeah, you know what you like, but we've got more of these. We've got the next one, for instance. Recalls that hilarious "Land Mines" Space Toast News Brief, doesn't it? Hell yeah it does. Nice, simple again, no moving parts; nothing to break. You get my joke here? Nothing to break! Ha haa ha! Come on, take a look...
http://internettrash.com/users/spacetoast/pics/GWbanner.jpg
Banners, banners, banners. You want some, I got some. (Stand back a bit; you're crowding me son.)
Banners! What do you want in a banner? Moving stuff! That's what you want, ain't it? Of course it is! And I've got that. Of course I do. Here, take a look...
http://internettrash.com/users/spacetoast/pics/Weekly.gif
You know how many hits Space Toast gets from the big corporate search engines? None. None at all, that's right, because it's nearly impossible to find. Are we gonna cry about that? A little! But that doesn't matter now, because we're moving on. On to the the only true-blue all-American tactic there is: Guerrilla Tactics! That's right, the only way they're gonna find me is by clicking on the links that good, honest samaritans place on their page. Samaritans like you. Yeah, you! Hell, even you down there. (I said step back son; you're crowding me!)
What's that? You want more!? Of course you do. You, the discriminating mark--that is, Mark. Hi, Mark! How ya doing?--you want a great banner. A great one. You want something that screams Space Toast Page, and you're gonna get it! You're gonna get a banner that fits all the usual ad spaces and displays all of the various logo-type-graphics that are vying for attention on this page--except for the real one, for some unimportant reason. But don't worry! Because you needn't.
What's that? Oh, you want samples of the weekly musings. Yeah? Well they're built in, baby! Aw hell yeah. You just check this out and remember that there is only one Space Toast Page, for some reason, and it's all yours. Oh yeah, it's all yours! (You're crowding again, son.) Here's that lovely lady of a banner, and remember--The Space Toast Page: now and for the conceivable future, The Next Small Thing...
http://http://internettrash.com/users/spacetoast/ToastBanner.gif
Touch the Toast