THE PRINCESS WITH THE SILVER GLIMMER
Written by Rachel

Once upon a time, as these things go, there lived a princess. She lived in a wonderful castle, as suited her position, with servants and a faithful dog and a garden full of flowers. She had all the toys a girl could want, and parents who loved her deeply, and the most beautiful face ever seen. She ate the richest foods from a golden plate, ad there was never a shortage of things to play with and look at. But the princess was not happy, even though a dozen freshly picked red roses were placed outside her door every morning. Outside her room for no-one was allowed to enter the princess' room.

One day the princess sat in her favourite chair in front of a roaring fire with Sirius, the good natured dog, at her feet. She stared into the flames and sighed. "Sirius," she whispered to the obediently sympathetic dog.
"I am bored. I seem to be bored a lot these days. But I'm tired of the things I know Sirius, I really am. I do not want my pretty blonde dolls any more, nor the golden ball I once treasured." She paused to rearrange her legs into a more comfortable position. It seemed, now she had started her monologue, she would be there for rather a while.
"But what is it I want? I feel so ungrateful. I have everything some people dream of. But still.....You know every night Sirius, I have a dream. There is a Prince, and he loves me, and we live in a house with roses in the garden. And every morning, I hate waking up. Do you know what I wish? I wish......" But the princess never did manage to voice her most secret dreams.
The Queen entered the room, the fabrics of her gown swishing like the gentle kissing of a thousand hands.
"Darling." She lightly kissed her daughter's cheek, collecting a lock of her shiny dark hair between her fingers. "Darling, what troubles you?" she inquired gently, stroking the silky locks.
"You seem so....distant, not your usual self recently. Tell me, dear daughter, is something the matter, are you unhappy?" But the princess shook her head, with a smile that could break hearts, and said
"No mother, nothing troubles me, I am merely tired. I shall be fine by morn. " The Queen sighed.
"I worry. I worry about you darling. And sometimes I just feel so helpless. I know something is wrong. I hate this." And the beautiful Queen started to cry. The princess looked away for the briefest of moments, with tears in her own crystal clear emerald eyes, before wrapping herself around her mother and whispering assuring comforts.

A week or so later the princess awoke from the same dream with the same mixture of happiness, disappointment and longing. The Prince had covered the floors in rose petals, swept her into his arms and kissed her. And then she had had to leave.
The princess dressed for breakfast, not seeing the expensive silks or delicate ribbons of each pretty garment, being careful only to pick a long sleeved outfit. She ate a feast of golden pancakes and syrup and hot buttered toast alone at the grand table. Her mother had a migraine and her father was attending a ball a day's travel away.
After breakfast, and after checking on the sleeping Queen, the princess went to play in the gardens. It was a beautiful sunny summer's day, and the gardens were filled with the humming of bees and the smell of cut grass. All of the flowers were in full bloom and the birds sang a sweeter song than ever before.
"Oh Mr Nightingale," the princess whispered to the trees.
"How can you sing so brightly? Do you not see that there is nothing good here? Nothing new, nothing beautiful?" But her words fell on deaf ears and the birds sang a new song, even more achingly sweet than the last.
The princess wandered towards the maze garden, oblivious to the garden's splendour. Instead, she let herself imagine she was walking with her Prince. A dark shadow passed swiftly to her left, and she froze in fear. but when she turned, with great trepidation, to see what terror lurked, she saw only the castleÕs sloping lawns bathed in sunshine. The princess whiled away the day dreaming of her Prince, dancing with him to silent music, telling him of her fears, her troubles.
"Oh Prince," she breathed. "how I long that you were real, and here, by me now."
Evening fell, with the comforting knowledge that she would soon sleep and see her Prince again. But a strange thing happened. Although the princess' eyes were as heavy as cartwheels, she could not sleep.
After hours of trying and, when she failed, hours of sulking, the princess got out of bed and walked to the window. The flagstones felt icy under her bare feet and she shivered.
"Oh Prince, I fear I shall not meet you tonight." She stared at her bare arms, which bore the marks of many previous sorrows, and reached to the secret drawer in her hand-carved oak desk. There was a glimmer of silver, and the wind appeared as if from nowhere to maliciously shake the window panes.
"Princess." A voice so faint that she at first mistook it for the wind itself.
"What?" she whispered to the empty room.
"Princess." Again, except this time an unmistakable voice.
"Who....who's there?" An icy finger of fear touched the princess' spine.
"Who's there? This is not funny. I can call my mother, she will be here within an instant."
"Don't be afraid. Please, donÕt call. I mean no harm." And the voice was so forlorn that the princess could not help but feel less afraid.
"Were it not for my great trouble in falling asleep this night, I would be sure I were dreaming," she breathed, desperately looking for the owner of the voice.
"Where are you, boy?" For indeed it was a boyÕs voice.
"I am here."
"But where, for I cannot see you?"
"Do you promise you will not be afraid, if I tell you?" The princess was not sure if she could make this promise, for to a girl who has never left the castle grounds, a voice speaking in the middle of the night was a strange and worrying thing. But still, she nodded her head and whispered a "Yes." There was a silence, as if the very air was pausing.
"I am sitting on the edge of your bed, Princess."
"But you cannot be. I cannot see you there."
"I can be, and am, for I am a ghost. The princess' face turned ashen. She stepped backwards until her fingertips felt a solid wall, mouthing the words "No, no, no." The princess slid down the wall, for her legs shook like a leaf caught in the autumn winds, until she was sitting on the cold flagstones.
"No," the voice cried.
"You promised not to be frightened, you said you wouldn't be. I donÕt want you to be scared of me Princess." And the room was filled with the boy's sobs.
"Don't cry boy. I am not afraid. Well, not very afraid. The princess' heart melted, and the boyÕs sobs melted to sniffs. "So who are you, boy? What happened to you?
"I am a Prince." The princess gasped.
"You're a Prince? Really?"
"Yes, Princess, I am." The princess and the prince talked for a long time, until at long last the princess felt tired and slept on her soft bed. And dreamed of her Prince, whose voice sounded very familiar.

Just as the sun was at its highest, the princess awoke from her sleep with an angelic smile. She dressed, ate, and smiled at everyone and everything. The Queen watched her daughter, and smiled a very secret smile. Her daughter was happy, and this relived the Queen, because she did not have to worry any longer. She no longer needed pretend to have migraines so as not to have to see her daughter so mysteriously unhappy. Now she could content herself with the new, mysterious happiness.
The princess felt quite content all day. She danced with the prince in the hallway, walked with him in the gardens and sang to him in front of the fire. She didn't worry about the whispers she was sure she could hear at breakfast, nor the dark shadow that passed her in the garden. She did start when she thought she felt a light touch on her cheek, but thought nothing of it. Soon, night fell and the princess made her excuses to go to her room.
She changed into a night dress and climbed into bed, although she wasn't at all tired.
"Prince ?" she whispered into the night. Sure enough, the wind rose.
"Princess." She could hear the smile in his voice. They talked and laughed until the stars twinkled high in the sky.
She told him of the Queen, who always cried because she was frightened of her very own daughter, who she didnÕt understand. She told him about her father, the great Kind, who was always away in another kingdom, and who no longer knew his daughter.
The next night, she even felt able to tell him about her very secret silver glimmer, the one she used when she was very upset to make herself feel better. And she was glad she had, because he had one too.
He told her about his own mother and father. His mother couldnÕt understand why he never went anywhere or talked to anyone, and was always upset. His father couldnÕt see him anymore. Neither of them knew he was a ghost.

Very soon, the Princess stopped dreaming. Instead, she stayed awake all night talking to her new Prince. He was sweet, and thoughtful, and interesting and very, very clever.
The princess loved to talk to him about everything.
"Prince.." she said one night, where the moonlight spilt like milk into the princess' room.
"What do you look like? Will I ever see you?" The prince sighed.
"I can let you see me if I try very hard, but only once. And I don't want you to see me Princess."
"Why?"
"Because I am ugly Princess. I am ugly and fear you will not like me anymore." The princess wasn't sure if she wanted to see him anymore. But she persuaded him anyway. And slowly, a human being began to take form.
He was very faint at first, and the princess was scared he might stay faint, but he got clearer and clearer until he was only a little blurred. And the princess wiped tears from her pretty eyes, because he was not at all ugly. He was beautiful, as beautiful as she had always known in her heart he would be. And she could not understand why he thought himself ugly, and told him so, but she was not sure if he believed her.

Very soon, the princess began to feel strangely about the prince. She thought about him all the time, and he told her he thought of her too. And one day she realised that she must be in love with the prince.

That night, when he came to sit by her and talk as he did every night, she told him of her suspicions. And he said he thought he probably felt the same. So they talked a lot about how they felt for each other, and the princess felt that things were wonderful, for the prince's feelings seemed to echo her very own.
For days, she walked in a daze, happier than she could remember being before, life feeling as sweet as honey straight from the honeycomb.
But one day, she thought about things properly. And it dawned on her that she and the Prince could never be properly in love, because he was a ghost and she was a living princess. This made the princess feel very sad, and feeling sad reminded her of how bad she had felt before the prince appeared in her room.
On this night, she used her silver glimmer for comfort, and was very regretful in the morning. But the princessÕ feelings did not go away and one night she told the prince exactly how she felt.
"Prince, I love you," she whispered into the seemingly empty room.
"My life would not mean very much without you. I miss you when you are gone and I feel wonderful when you are with me. And I am dreadful confused because I don't know what to do now."
"I love you too, princess. And I think about you all the time. But we cannot be together while you are alive, and since you are young and healthy, we cannot be together for a very long time." This made the princess very sad, but she knew he was right.

Soon it was the prince's birthday. It was the first night he had not spent by the princess' side, but he knew his mother would cry if he were not there. So for the first time since they had met, the princess was alone. And she made a very important decision.

She brought out a box from underneath her luxurious bed, it was full of red rose petals, which she had collected every morning and lovingly dried and kept. They sent their sweet aroma into the air like a flock of birds at the sound of a human footstep. She took the petals by the handful, and threw them over her sheets. The deep red looked beautiful against the white of the sheets, so beautiful that the princess started to cry. She combed her hair, washed her face, and changed into her most beautiful white dress. Then she tidied her room, and replaced the empty box under her bed.

Soon, night fell. The air was sweet and clear, an autumn evening, and the moon shone with all its brightness.
The princess walked to her desk and opened the secret drawer. The silver glimmer shone so that it was almost blinding. She lifted it and felt its comforting coldness against her skin, and smiled her pretty smile.
Then the princess walked, with the quietest and lightest of steps, to her bed and climbed on top of the petals. They crackled slightly, pleasingly, with her weight and she lay her head back onto the soft pillow.
Suddenly she was scared, but she thought of the Prince and how much she loved him and the fear became slightly less.
She brought the silver glimmer to the soft, pale skin on the insides of her wrists and sighed, as the silver glimmer bit though the years of sorrow, and all of her regrets and longing flowed to join the red petals. Her eyelids closed, and her white face had the look of the most perfect porcelain doll. She opened her lips a fraction and breathed a whisper of a breath.

"Goodbye," she whispered, to the empty room.

[fairytales]