Some of my
favorite quotes...
and i know no one will ever actually read all of
these. I wish you would... not just because i put a lot of time into
this.
"...when I am with you, just chatting or looking at you, or even just thinking about you, it's like I am perpetually at the peak of orgasm.
I couldn't be more ecstatic or excited or aroused. You just do that to me." sam.
"I wish i was a glow worm. A glow worm's never glum...
'cause how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out your bum?" unknown
"Glaciers are cool!" sam, after hiking the franz josef glacier in New Zealand
"I must admit, you brought religion into my life. I never believed in hell until I met you." sandy
"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother." Theodore Hesburg
"In the course of twenty crowded years, one parts with many illusions. I did not wish to lose the early ones.
Some memories are realities, and are better than anything that can happen to one again" Willa Cather
"The universe doesn't owe you a goddamn thing." My Philosophy professor, Dr. Saltztein
"That is BS, and i don't mean bittersweet." also from Dr. Saltztein
"Now this is one sticky wicket." Dr. Saltstein again, after a dramatic pause in a lecture about Descarte's argument for the existance of God
"If i was a long dirt road and i felt on me your bare feet, i would lead you astray." left in spanish
"Love is like Pi: irrational, infinite and necessary." jon
"I'm as sexy as socks on a rooster!" jenn's dad
"When i was a little kid, we had a sandbox. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually." unknown
"i have a hole in my butt." tara.. *sigh* i think she meant to tell us that there was a rip in her jeans.
"Why are you holding the clone?" me, talking in my sleep, to adam after he picked up alex from beside me to put him in the crib
"You can have it done right.
You can have it done fast.
ou can have it done cheap.
Pick two." unknown
"We didn't lie to you. The truth just changed.." the Man
"Oxygen is your friend... unless you are a single celled animal, in which case oxygen is incredibly toxic." chemist
"It's as beautiful as a chinese station wagon." unknown
"... peanut butter and wild swamp mushrooms on a hot dog bun. I was -so- hungry. We hadn't eaten anything in like, three days, and that was the best sandwich i ever ate." shane
"I didn't want to hurt them; i only wanted to kill them." david burkowitz
"If you were a horse, we would already have shot you." shane, to amanda just before she went into surgury.
"Soap
is self-cleaning." sarah
"What? No porn and cookies?" virgil
"I'd
bang her like a screen door in a hurricane." devin
"If you
live to be one hundred, i wish to be one hundred minus one day, so i'll
never have to live a day without you" winnie the
pooh
"You live so far up the hollar that your sink has three spiggots: hot, cold, and sunshine." virgil (i didn't typo... this quote was taken directly.. he's from west virginia, y'all.)
"He jumped into the river and got drownded and killt." the redneck friend of jamie's friend from charlotte
"If
i were a woman, i would fake an orgasm every time i went to the
gynocologist." a male
friend of mine
"Is
this where you want to be when Jesus comes back?" Joe Dirt
"Don't
never got no brains or nothin'." a line
from the rugrats 'all growd up' special, that adam has taken to
repeating when observing stupidity in action.
"There
is no good writing, only good re-writing." Prof.
Raccette.
"Your success is my joy, and your failure is my shame." Prof. Eckejuwu
"We'll park the house out by the street so you can find it."
My mom, meaning to say that she would park the van out by the street so
we would see it and be better able to find their new house.
"The
car is bleeding!" amanda,
seeing that adam's car was leaking transmission fluid
"How
can someone who talks so much say so little?" brian,
about ryan
"Youth
is wasted on the young." unknown
"How many infinities are there?" special Sam from high school
"You
cannot wrap fire in paper." unknown,
on keeping secrets
"the
Christians killed Jesus." shane
"Why
do
we have to have so many receiving blankets? We'll only be receiving it
once." - Adam,
about the baby and the bunches of receiving blankets we have
"I'm
so
lonely, it hurts." - Adam
"the
marbles...no, no i can't wake up... the marbles won't let me. (angry)
No, like
when you can't move after you cut them with a tomato." Adam,
half-asleep.
"Even
God has a sense of humor... look at the platypus." - Dogma
"Where
the bee sucks, there suck I." - Ariel,
from William Shakespeare's "The
Tempest".
"How
much does it cost? There's no price tag..." - Adam, in
the Dollar
Tree where all items are one dollar.
"i'm
going to get a helicopter and helicop places" - Anna
"I'd
rather not have sex than not enjoy it." - goth-matt
"Don't
squat
with your spurs on." - cowboy
wisdom
"All
that we see or seem, is but a dream within a dream." - Edgar
Allen Poe
"Time
is that thing...that thing that tells.." - doctor
analeio, on some emergency room
reality show on TLC
"no,
no, no... you have to shake it up... all the flavor is on the bottom." - Amanda,
talking about
bottled water.
"Leverage,
bitch, leverage!" - Special
Ed, receiving head from the Barbie girl
"...and
the plot thinnens..." - my Sarah
"Kill
'em. Kill 'em all." -
Butterfly's drunk Marine, to the baby
"You're
ugly." - Star,
tripping on acid, to two little girls in Food Lion
"Can
they write braille on both sides of the paper?" - my little
brother,
Devin
"Here
we are in the trenches with our tin hats on." - unknown
"The
bus goes to school. The bus goes home." - alicia
"Just
because you're paranoid, don't mean they're not after you" - kurt
cobain
"If
it's inevitable, just relax and try to enjoy it." -
Stephanie, on rape and
bad weather
"Do
you
remember when we were hungry? Do you remember when we were cold? Do you
remember when we were happy, in a way no one outside could ever know?" - everclear
"How
can it be that there is on earth a woman alone, forsaken?" - Vincent
Van Gough
"Virtue
is it's own punishment." - unknown
"Forever
ended yesterday." - Broken
Into Nothing
"it's
so nice to know you care, even though you're not all there." - brian
grainger
"In
this life you make your own miracles, because god is busy elsewhere." - Jill
Castle
"I
can
handle all the hell that happens everyday; when you smile and touch my
face, it
all just goes away." - Everclear
"My
heart is impervious and unbroken, and I never allowed myself to love
you." - anonymous
"Since
you ask, most days I cannot remember. I walk in my clothing, unmarked
by that
voyage.
Then the
almost unnamable lust returns." -Anne Sexton
"I
only
kill to know I'm alive. So what?" - Ministry
"Gazing
through bottles, tables of endless glass, light shine through and it
seem like
heaven. Take all the bottles, put them end to end; you could touch the
sky
another way... that's not him you see - he's never really there and he
doesn't
know the time. When did you get up today? You never used to sleep so
late.
Never mind, it's always 3 am" -
Guadalcanal diary
"You
do
it to yourself, you do and that's what really hurts is you do it to
yourself.
Just you, you and no-one else." - Radiohead
"Is
it
a stick, or a manual?" -joey,
asking Adam about his car's
transmission
and it's an automatic.
"You
can't kill me, cause I've already shot you." - Slipknot
"...And
remember, on a sobriety test you're supposed to touch your own
nose." - unknown
"Where
do they get their asses from? Do they get to pick them out?" - a
personal refection
on women's behinds, from BJ
"move
it grandma, you ass clown" - Lucas,
age 4
"god
made dirt, and dirt don't hurt. " - children's
rhyme
"quit
whining. Rub some dirt on it and get back outside and play" - ben
"i
like
to be seduced. i don't like sex. i love orgasms. " - Anonymous
"just
go away. i don't want to be touched. i want to be held, but
i dont
want to be touched. hold me dear in your thoughts, remember what
i feel
like, and dont let me go. but leave me" - the girl
"eid
ot
diarfa ton s'ehs" the girl
"I
know
it looks anal, but it's only to better humanity" -Billy Corgan
"Perfect---
In that fucked up kind of way" -Everclear
"Depression
is nothing but anger without enthusiasm" - unknown
"they
were handing out hundred dollar bills,
but i
got stoned . . . . and i missed it.
and the
mermaids were all giving head,
but i
got stoned. . . . and i missed it" - lexia
"She
thinks she missed the train to Mars; she's out back counting stars" - Hum.
"Do
you
have a door?" - sarah
"No
man
is worth your tears, and the one who is won't make you cry." - unknown
"i
would sell my soul to buy yours" - friend of
mine
"Every
revolution
begins with a single act of defiance." -
commercial for some
sports car
"alicia says:
it's a
jar that you put change in, like pennies and stuff.
sarah's
reply: 'i know what change is!!!' " - alicia and
angry sarah,
upon the explanation of a change jar
"He's
a
man. He's just a man. And I've had so many men before,
in very
many ways. He's just one more." --Mary
Magdalene, 'Jesus Christ,
Superstar'
"Need
has nothing to do with desire." - john rand
"wow.
You have really white eye-whites." carl,
from work, commenting on my sparkling
white white-of-the-eyes
"I
like
my pussy. Sometimes I stare at it in the mirror when I'm
undressing. I love my pussy. It is the complete summation of my
life ...
My pussy is the temple of learning." - Madonna
"Don't
say you want me, don't say you need me, don't say you love me: it's
understood." - Depeche
Mode, It's Not Good
"Nothing
is so fascinating as that which is not meant to be seen." - Anton LaVey
"Had
he
known it was Hitler's birthday, he would not have celebrated. " - King
Missile, At
Dave's
"It's
just not for me." - a certain
someone, referring to sex, but he LIED!
"bwah" - Sarah
"These
hands! I can't get them off my wrists!"- Happy
Noodle Boy
"Be
free little pop-tart!" -
Wobbly-headed Bob
"'Balls!'
said the Queen. 'If I had them I'd be king' " - she forgets
"I
hate
people, but I need them." - Enrico
"Where's
my hoe?"
-
Dreamy
smurf
"Remember
that when you point your finger, you've got three pointing back at you
...and one
at god, or something." - Stuart
Smalley
"One
of
these things is not like the other; One of these things just doesn't
belong." - Sesame
Street.
"I
do
not believe minors should be allowed to shoot people... nor do I believe
their
victims should be allowed to die." -Hannah
Leigh, Psychologist
"All
you need is love." - John
Lennon
"Everyone
is someone's prayer." - Barton.
"*gasp*
This is the most amazing thing i have -ever- put in my mouth. *pause* i
love you." - a friend,
snacking on my home-baked cookies.
"Stop!
Its a turtle!" - Barton,
while we were driving. And it wasn't a turtle. It was
a broke-up cheap plastic thingy.
"These
little tiny men crawl on me. They can be loud at times." -
Tripping Daisy,
from Tiny men
"I've
got no goddamn regrets!" - Fear
Factory
"Whores
are good; we like whores." - Tori Amos
"You
can't forget somebody hates you" - Halmet
"Tried
to
save myself, but myself keeps slipping away" -T. Reznor
"If
you're giving in then you're giving up" - Billy
Corgan
"I'm
not in love but I'm gonna fuck you until someone better comes along" - M. Manson
"I
need
whores, because I am a whore!!" -Brian
"Don't
think you're having all the fun, you know me, I hate everyone."- Reznor
"If
you
can't fuck it, and it doesn't dance; eat it or throw it away."- pat cadigan
"Who
belongs? Who decides who's crazy?"- Smashing
Pumpkins, Luna
"It
is
better to burn out than fade away." -Kurt
Cobain, in his suicide note
"I
got
crabs at Joe's." - as seen on a
t-shirt from Joe's Crab Shack
"If
you
cant be with the one you love, love the one youre with." old
Mama's and Papa's song
"Sex
is
Educational" - Aimee
"Live
in
harmony with your destiny." - Anton LaVey
"Tomorrow
never comes"- unknown
"I
know
tomorrow brings the consequence at hand, but i keep living this day
like the
next will never come." - Fiona Apple,
Criminal
"This
may hurt a little, but it's something you'll get used to." -Tool, from
Stinkfist
"Just
remember I will always love you, even as I tear your fucking throat
away." - Tool, Pushit
"There's
no love in fear." - Tool, again
from Pushit
"She's
got a carburetor tied to the moon." - Beck
"This
is life. Don't worry, it will kill you" -King
Missile, Life
"Not
all martyrs see divinity, but at least you tried." - Tool, Eulogy
"I
am
the lizard king, I can do anything." - Larry (aka,
Zombie)
"There
are many colors in the homo rainbow. Don't be afraid to let your
colours
shine." -Ween
"The
sky is made of amethyst, and all the stars look just like little fish." -Hole
"The
sky is made of M&M's, and all the stars look just like little
pills."- misspoken
lyric from
the above quote
"Killing
for Peace is like Fucking for Chastity." -unknown
"Don't
smoke around the napalm." -Randy
"Le
sexe est comme un pistolet. Vous visez; vous tirez; vous
exécutez." - Aimee
"Sex
is
like a gun. You aim; you shoot; you run." -
translation of above
quote
"I'd
tell
all my friends, but they'd never believe me. They'd think that I've
finally
lost it completely."- Radiohead
"If
it's not broken, fix it till it is." - Nick
"She
spreads herself wide open, to let the insects in.
She
leaves a trail of honey to show me where she's been."- Nine Inch
Nails,
Reptile
"Its
better to regret something you did, than something you didn't do" - Red Hot
Chili Peppers
"Life
is a Phase." - Unknown
"i
lie
just to be real, and i'd die just to feel. why do the same old things
keep on
happening?
Because
beyond my hopes there are no feelings." - Smashing
Pumpkins
"I
did
not have sexual relations with that woman" - Bill Clinton
"I
was
all by myself. Nobody was looking; I was thinking of you.
Oh yea
did i mention? I was alone." - Green Day.
Secret Song.
"They
say goldfish have no memory, and that little plastic castle is a
surprise every
time" - Unknown
"Anything
is possible with Barbie!"- Mattel
"The
world Changes, we do not. Therein lies the irony that finally kills us."- Armand
"Taste
the Rainbow" - Skittles,
showing their gay pride
"Peace
is just a pause between wars." - Unknown
"Just
who do you think you are?" - Authority
"...And
then I realized that with a budget deficit of half a trillion dollars
(ah,
those were the days),
the
government couldn't possibly afford to spend any money following me
around." - King
Missile, Keep Walking
"Do
angels have bones?" - my little
brother
"No
association, to the mass debate." - Silverchair
"I
hate
what I have become to escape what I hated being." - Marilyn
Manson
"Turn
on, tune in, drop out." - Timothy
Leary
"If
what I'm saying doesn't make any sense, that's because sense can not be
made.
It's
something that must be sensed and I, for one, am incensed by all this
complacency" - It's
Saturday, by King Missile
"You
cannot sedate all the things you hate." -Marilyn
Manson
"Pray,
v. To ask that the rules of the universe be annulled
on
behalf of a single petitioner, confessedly unworthy." - Ambrose
Bierce
"The
great masses of people will more easily fall victims to a great lie
than a
small one." -Adolph Hitler
"Were
we closer to the ground as children, or is the grass empty now?" - Alan Bennett
"Before
I sink into the big sleep, I want to hear the scream of the butterfly." - Jim Morrison
"In
a
world of dreams, reality fails; In a world of reality, dreams prevail."
- unknown
"Why
is
fred durst called fred durst? Because his name is FRED!" - sarah (i
think)
"Lord,
what fools these mortals be!" - Puck, from A
Midsummer Night's Dream
"Hatred
is the anger of the weak." - Alponse
Daudet, from Lettres de Mon Moulin
"Whoever
you vote for, Government wins" - unknown
"Disobey-
Their power comes from our obedience" - unknown
"Kill
one person and you're a murderer. Kill thousands and
you're a
conqueror. Kill everyone and you are god." - Jean Rostand
"Run
around in circles with me daddy!" - lucas
"It
is
dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities
are
wrong." - Voltaire
"Deep
into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing,
doubting,
dreaming
dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before." - Edgar Allen
Poe
"It
is
better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you
are
not." - Andre Gide
"We
are
all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." - Oscar Wilde
"Ordinary
morality is for ordinary people ...Do what thou wilt shall be the whole
of the
law" - Aleister
Crowley
"Good
is what you like, Evil is what you dislike." - Anton
Szandor LaVey
"...And
the devil in a black dress watches over, my guardian angel walks away.
Life is
short and love is always over in the morning..." -The Sisters
of Mercy,
Temple of Love
"Reality
is perception. Perceptions change. Reality is fluid. So if by 'reality'
you
mean reliably tangible
objects
and immutable events, then there's no such thing." - Dean
Koontz's TickTock
"There
is often method in madness." - Unknown
"Why
should I conform to what you want to see when I am already what I want
to
be?" - Unknown
"Control
is an illusion which humanity's created. Anarchy's an instinct which
technology's sedated." - Unknown
"It's
only a sin if you feel guilty."-Mark Dorgan
"I
don't say we all ought to misbehave, but we ought to look as if we
could." - Orson
Welles
"how
much are the dollar movies?" - my 16
year old sister
"how
do
i rewind the dvd? " - tara
"do
you
like bananas, in your pudding?" - slipknot,
track ten on their first cd.
"does
twenty-five
plus twenty-five equal four hundred and ten?" - my 6 year
old brother,
learning math