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Green Etiquette
How It SHOULD Be Done
GENERAL RULES
Thou shalt not turn down a smoke. NEVER! This is a definitive rule to live by.
If someone starts hogging the bong and starts using the excuse that its okay for them to hog it since it’s their weed, this is definitely not cool. The punishment depends on the quality of the weed and how much the put in. (If it was real crappy and they were real cheap with it, then you rag on them)
If someone is too unco to light the cone (due to being too stoned or the person is just a retard) then they must relinquish control of the lighter to someone more able to get it lit. This does not mean the person who lights gets free hits, this privilege tends to get abused.
When it is your turn to hit the joint, take your two hits and then pass it on. Some people have a tendency to tell a story or something whenever it is their turn to hold on to the joint.
Don’t interrupt anyone who’s telling a story unless it is to acquire the bong; it’s rude and telling stories is part of being stoned.
If someone is so stoned that they blow into the bowl and blow all the shit on the floor, this person must be ragged on and the person can’t smoke on the next round (unless it was their stuff).
If smoking from a bong or joint, never put the whole thing in your mouth and get it all sopping wet… it’s disgusting and it messes up the joint.
Never hog the weed.
Never bitch about someone else’s weed being no good! If you don’t like it don’t smoke it!
If a friend gets you stoned, sometime in the future you need to get that friend bent.
If you buy weed from a friend or a friend of a friend, it is polite to shout a round and smoke with the person who sells you the stuff.
If a person passes on one round DO N OT assume that they are passing on the next.
It is very impolite to hand someone an empty bong without notifying that person of its possible cashed-ness. A proper warning would be ‘here ya go… I think it might be shot’.
Always remember to thank a person who has gotten you smashed. It may sound silly but people who never say thanks can become a little annoying.
Always ask before lighting a cigarette, just because a person lets you smoke cones in their house does not mean you can smoke ciggies.
If you are smoking with two other people and you are the middle person, you do not get a hit every time it passes you. Just because you are in the middle does not allow you extra tokes.
Don’t slobber all over the apparatus!
When you are stoned, try to be careful about the homeowners stuff. Being ‘so bent’ is not an excuse for breaking stuff.
When using a bong, don’t blow out the ashes everywhere, unless that’s what the homeowner does.
Never go to someone’s house expecting them to get you stoned.
If you don’t plan on sharing your weed, or you don’t have enough to get everyone bent, don’t smoke up in front of everyone.
Don’t ask and beg and demand until you get a toke; just wait for it to be passed.
Alternately; don’t make people ask and beg and demand tokes – share and share alike.
Bragging about how much you can smoke is a definite no-no. Trying to toke bigger than you really can just makes you cough everywhere, probably spew and definitely look like a dickhead.
If you’re going to puke, do it in a garden or toilet… anyone who pukes on smoking apparatus should miss their next toke, and clean it all up of course.
Don’t take two tokes in a row just because you think nobody else is watching.
Don’t spit anywhere you’re not supposed to… carpets, pets and other people are generally not to be spat on.
JOINT RULES
The person who rolls the joint (no matter whose weed it is) gets to spark up the joint and gets first hit.
If someone rolls a nice joint, its good to give the person a complement on their rolling skills.
When the roach gets too small, if someone has a problem with it, it is common courtesy to put the roach in a cone and finish it that way… that way the people who don’t mind burning their fingers don’t get it all.
BONG RULES
NEVER, and I repeat NEVER take a shot of bong water, not even on a dare. It tastes like crap and you will probably puke from it.
If you spill the bong, clean it up! (And don’t forget to put water back in it!!)
Never blow into a bong; you’ll wet the cone and deserve to miss your next turn.
MUNCHIES
If you smoke with someone in your house you should let them eat some of the food you may have lying around. Munchies happen, so don’t be cheap with your food!
On the other side of this, always offer to go on a food run, especially if the person whose house it is got you smashed.
If someone does offer you food, don’t totally pig-out on it. They had to pay for it and most people have better uses for their money that buying food for stoner guests (like buying more pot!).
If someone asks for a sip of your drink, you must give them some (sandpaper tongue ain’t fun).
Alternately, if you ask for a sip, don’t scull the whole lot.
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