Top Ten Reasons Why Our Town Sucks More Than Yours:
10) Orschlens runs it
9) Our main drag has a Daylight Dounuts and 3 stop lights
8) Our Senior Citizen to Teenager ratio is 15:1
7) 95% of those teenagers are wanna-be "gangstas" who drive around endlessly and pointlessly, further polluting the enviornment and permanently damaging their necks from bad posture
6) Moberly Regional Medical Center (not good enough to even be called a hospital) treats many patients, only to send them to Columbia 9.5 times out of 10
5) One word: Too many f*cking railroad tracks!
4) Ask any 6 year old in the "good" neighborhood for cocaine (at a discount price!)
3) Downtown...also known as "the Ghetto"
2) We can't think of even one person that has become even semi-famous that is from here (not even an extra for a cheap porno)
1) Incest is best!
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