Three punk guys from San Jose

Or, a few words with "Evil" Kevin La Bounty, Brandon "Wayne" Paski, and "One-Eyed" Brett Holt, of Boy Kicks Girl

So, I saw these guys at the Cactus Club in San Jose last month, and they rocked. They're very cool, approachable, down to earth sort of guys, I talked to Evil Kevin after the show. So a while ago, I thought it would be cool to interview them for my lame web site, so I wrote Kevin some nice e-mail, and one thing led to another, and now I have this interview to post. Here we go:

Today Is In My Way: BKG's live sound. Kevin, do you use any clever guitar playing tricks or technical tweaking? Or just the basic Ibanez guitar, enforcing Marshall Law (Marshall amps)?

Evil Kevin: I make sure my sound has a good low end crunch to it. There are a lot of punk bands where the guitars just have no balls and it sounds like it's played through a tin can instead of an amplifier. Good equipment is a start. You get what you pay for unfortunately, so if you're poor and want a big, fat sound... better start saving up.  I play an Ibanez Custom Sabre with Monter Cables plugged into a BOSS MT-2 Metal Zone distortion pedal (tweaked to how I like my sound), and pumped into a Marshall JCM 900 head with Groove Tubes, and pumped out of a Marshall 4x 12" 'Slash Series" cabinet. That'll do the trick fer' sure.

CFR: I believe the hype. I talk about guitar stuff else where on this site, once I get some cash I'm going to hook it up with Marshall Law. Yea baby!

CFR: I unfortunately haven't gotten to listen to either of the records, though. While "...or something like that" obviously was too low-fi for any clever production tricks, did you use any of that stuff (extra vocal tracks, doubling guitars, crap like that) on "Public Display of Aggression"?

Evil Kevin: Backing vocals were overdubbed, especially Brett's because that boy is tone deaf, let me tell you! Guitars were recorded separately on the left and right sides, and solo's were overdubbed sometimes left and right also. Overdubbing is the best way to get a fatter sound in your recording. Good audio compression is also key, and the Neve mixer console we were using was brought over from england. Very sweet.

CFR: Well of course he's tone deaf, he's a drummer.... (I kid, of course)

CFR: Kevin, suppose, for a moment, that Fender or Ibanez or whatever is trying to show off that they're hip to underground local music and wants to sponsor you and have you in their ads and whatnot. What would they have to do get you to agree to it? And would it involve anything resembling a Great Rock'n'Roll Swindle, or lubricants?

Evil Kevin: As long as they agree to replace my guitar each time I smashed it on stage, that's good enough for me.

CFR: Sounds fair to me...

CFR: Are any of you guys familiar with The Misanthropic Bitch (bitch.shutdown.com)?

Evil Kevin: Yes I used to go to her original site a long time ago before it was shut down.

Brandon: nope.

CFR: I'm not cool enough to have ever seen the old site on Tripod. But the new one is my Netscape homepage. Did she do the Stupid Teen Girl feature back then?

CFR: Speaking of misanthropy, do any of you have much faith in humanity? (I have very little, especially considering what a spoiled suburban punk-ass I am.)

Evil Kevin: Not really. I have faith in my wife, my friends, and a few people I meet along the way in my journeys.

Brandon: only when I watch Oprah.

CFR: Wise words.... Oh jeez, you actually take Oprah seriously? Gah.... she'd be okay if she didn't have millions of chicks brainwashed. Oprah is eeevil. Even more evil than Kevin.

CFR: Brandon, where specifically did you acquire Wayne? What inspired you to name that particular hat 'Wayne', and name a religion after it? And how did this hat teach you the principles of Wayneism? Did you have a mind-expanding dream or vision while wearing it? (Is Wayne the red beanie that you've been photographed wearing on the www.bkg.com bio?)

Brandon: A store in Berkeley.  I got it for $5.00.  I already had the "religion" as some call it as my own personally philosophy and decided to use the hat as a way to preach it to the masses.  I've had some mind expanding dreams and visions, but I can't comment on those right now.  It is just a hat after all.

CFR: Interesting.... I knew it was Berkeley, I was hoping for a specific shop.... but, whatever.

CFR: Which one do you prefer: Astroglide, petroleum jelly, KY, Crisco/any kind of cooking oil, "natural fluids", or other?

Evil Kevin: Tara Juice™.

Brandon: ummmm Ok.

CFR: Mmmkay... can you buy that at Longs, or is that a secret home recipe, and you'd have to kill me if I made some and started horning in on your business? : D

CFR: Which is your favorite Spice Girl, for whatever reason? Or do they all suck equally?

Evil Kevin: I already answered this in a past interview. What are you, hard up for questions or something?

Brandon: Me.

CFR: Really? I didn't notice, sorry about that... Brandon Spice? Or is it Wayne Spice? Yea, yea, you should do that, audition to replace Ginger Spice. (I'm not hard up for questions so much as I'm hard up for good questions: Some of these are pretty stupid: See below.)

CFR: Brett, do people ever hassle you for being a hippie treehugger? (I honestly think you're kind of a hippie, but that's cool, it's better to be a hippie than a macho man. And besides, if you can kick Kevin's or Brandon's ass, no doubt you could kick mine, so you can't be that much of a hippie. You don't even have the long hair or anything...)

Brett:  No I don't get hassled.  Hippie?  You don't know what hippie if you think I'm a hippie.  Being aware of what's going on in this world is not being a hippie.

Brandon: Brett doesn't shave his legs...he's a hippie.

CFR: Oh yeah.... Dammit, that was a stupid question, nevermind. Besides, Brandon probably doesn't shave his legs either.

CFR: Sorry, this has been asked before, but the last time I read it, the interview was kind of old, so maybe it's changed or something: Who's the babe magnet of the band?

Evil Kevin: It's still me. Don't under estimate the power of the dark side.

Brett:  None of us.  We're all taken.

Brandon: Shut-up kevin.

CFR: I respect the dark side... I'm still trying to master the Jedi Mind Trick. ("You will bring Han Solo to me, and the Wookie." Wookie really sounds like a euphemism for a penis, don't you think?)

CFR: Does corporate rock still suck?

Evil Kevin: What determines 'Corporate'? If a 'band' is formed by managers and paid songwriters for no other reason than to make money, then yes. If the band paid its dues for years and made it to success, then NO. More power to em'...

Brett:  What Kevin said.

Brandon: me too.

CFR: Yea! Fuckin A! I myself would love to sign a record contract with a big record label, as long as they back off and let me do my shit and not try to make the band I'm in into N'Suck. Other than that, I'll be happy to be a corporate ho and do Gap commercials and shit, as long as they make it worth my while. Money can't buy love or happiness, but it can rent love, and it can buy Taco Bell....

CFR: Are you familiar with MxPx? They're, I guess, a Christian punk band from Washington State. I find it really amusing that they really rock, but they're also nice boys who probably go to church every week and live with their parents and crap. Chicks dig them because of that.

Evil Kevin: Christian punk, eh... great. What better way to recruit new drones than to monopolize and embrace the kid's punk scene.

Brett:  I don't care what they do. It's there deal.  I'm not offended in any way.  Kevin what the hell are you talking about?  You're making yourself look bad again.  Damn!

Brandon: He's good at that.  don't like it don't listen to it. DUH?

CFR: Monopolize? What the hell are you talking about dude? The reason why they're so cool is, they DON'T proselytize. Hardly any of their tunes are about The Lord or any of that shit. They just do their own thing. (Although I kinda feel sorry for Mike Herrera (their lead singer) cuz lots of chicks want him bad, but he's a nice boy so he can't be bangin lots of chicks on tour or anything. They're such nice boys, if you were a chick, you could bring all three of them home to mom at the same time and she'd still love them.)

CFR: Kevin, I read that you were born in Sweden. Is there any interesting story or anything behind that?

Evil Kevin: My father was stationed in Europe at that time in the Air Force, and that's just where I happened to pop out. Coulda' been worse.

CFR: I see.... So... (Damnit, I can't think of any clever Swedish-Made Penis Enlarger Pump jokes.)

Also, if you're Evil Kevin, where's the Good Kevin? Did you kill him, and if so, where did you hide the body? (I killed the Good Daniel and hid his body in the big black plastic Bio-Orb composting device in my backyard. So now Good Dan is making the weeds and stuff grow better.)

Evil Kevin: The name's just a stupid gimmick. Johnny Rotten, Sid Vicious, Billy Idol, Evil Kevin. 'Kevin' just doesn't sound all that exciting now, does it?

CFR: Not really, but you're cool enough that you don't need an exciting name... As long as you're using the name Evil Kevin, you should make up an interesting story for it or something.... My nickname is Method Dan, of course. My friend Paul made it up cuz we were going to start a rap parody group, and call it the Jew-Tang Clan or something.

CFR: Who would win in a steel-cage grudge match to the death: Jennifer Love Hewitt, or Kate Moss? (Personally, my money would be on JLH, she's probably got a weight advantage going for her.)

Evil Kevin: Kate Moss definately has my vote. She's a lean, mean fighting machine.

Brett:  Double disqualification for the use of foreign objects.

Brandon: I'll be back in 15 minutes...

CFR: What do you mean, foreign objects? Are you suggesting they're grab the folding chairs and what not, or was that a fake tits joke? Cuz if it was, it was funny.

CFR: Just how gay do you think members of boy 'groups' (I refuse to call them bands: bands have real musicians in them) like N'Sync and the Backdoor Action Boys (sorry, Backstreet Boys) are? And would you bet that your sex lives are better than those guys?

Evil Kevin: Well, seeing how both those 'groups' were put together by the same management as everyone's favorite "New Kids on the Block", I'd say its a 10 on the gayometer. My sex life rules, unlike Brett's. hahahaa!

CFR: Mmm-hmm. Preach the truth, Brotha Kevin! (snap snap) Brett, I do believe that was a diss. Are you going to take that from that scrawny little punk? I wouldn't if I were you.

CFR: How much would I have to pay you (any one, not all three at once) to do a strip-tease routine for my friend's sister's birthday party? I doubt she's a fan, I would just find it amusing to see the look on her face.

Evil Kevin: I only shake my muffin-ass for my woman, sorry.

Brett: Not my bag baby!

Brandon: no actually, we're just good friends.

Do you have any words of wisdom for young punkateers who wish they could be as cool as you? Or those who simply want to play in a band but are too antisocial to start by just jamming in the basement with their friends?

Evil Kevin: It's never too late to start, and you're never too old to start. So head on over to your local liquer store ASAP and buy the cheapest case of imported vodka food stamps can buy.

Brett:  We're not cool damn it.  We just play and love it.

Brandon:..hey...I'm cool...right?

CFR: Are you suggesting they just drink cheap imported vodka to be as cool as you guys? Because that sounds pretty dead on: I would be at least almost as cool as Evil Kevin if I drank cheap imported vodka too. Well, yeah, Brandon and Kevin are cool, Brett is cool even if he denies it. You are what you are, dude...

CFR: Stovetop or potatoes?

Evil Kevin: Where? ...and for how long?

Brett: Yes!

Brandon: Stovetop and purple stuff!

CFR: Heheheh, I seee..... riiiight....

Do you ever use any "Ebonics" expressions ('ill', 'flava', 'dope', 'sucka', et cetera), or spontaneously make up little hip-hop rhymes?

Evil Kevin: No, because that's racist and may offend someone if they hear you talking like that.  Instead I just shout out, "Honkey white bread cracka' eatin' muthafuckas'!!!", to everyone I pass on the street because that's OK to say out loud in the 90's.

Brandon: Hell yes, sucka'.  I has got the flava'.

CFR: Very amusing. No shit. I'm kind of in the habit of that myself. I just think it's probably funny coming from an extremely white suburban punk like myself: I don't take it seriously or anything.

CFR: Have you ever watched "Sifl and Olly" on MTV? If so, would you, under any circumstances, allow Precious Roy to sell any Boy Kicks Girl merchandise/propaganda?

Evil Kevin: Ugh... you actually watch MTV? I want my BKG!

Brett:  Beavis and Butthead were fun.

Brandon: Am I really on TV?

CFR: As much as it offends my indie-snob sensibilites, yes, I do watch MTV. Most of it sucks, though, I just like to make fun of it. But it does have: Loveline (Adam Carolla is a serious-ass funny mothafucker), Daria (Tara notwithstanding, if she was a real chick, Kevin and I would probably have to fight over her), and of course Sifl and Olly. I wouldn't let Precious Roy sell MY propaganda, personally. (Brandon, that sounded just like Chester.... Coincidence? I doubt it.)

CFR: If you were imprisoned and sentenced to death for being excessively crescent fresh (or, for being too bad-ass of a band), what would your last meal be?

Evil Kevin: Tara.

Brett:  he's just sick.  but ya know a nice women would be good.

Brandon: light bulbs

CFR: I believe it... That actually makes sense, although I was thinking more along the lines of Denny's, but I think I'd rather have a nice women anyway... (was that another Chester reference I detected just now?)

CFR: Okay, these are probably starting to get stupid, so I'll wrap it up. Any final words for the 7 people who actually read my website? (Unless this interview is linked with the others on the web site)

Evil Kevin: Don't eat the cheddar, it's been sitting there for weeks kids.

Brett:  Look both ways before crossing the street.

Brandon: yes have some.

CFR: Thanks a pantsful, guys. Keep rocking.

That was funny, wasn't it?

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