The Perfect Chick

The specifics

Okay, this is like, about my idealized dream girlfriend. If this is you or you're close to it, email me your name and phone number *wink*.

• Age: 21

• Sex: Frequently

• Eyes: Blue

• Hair: Dark brown/black or Manic Panic'd

• Skin: Pale

• Height: 5'4"

• Weight: 110 to 130 pounds

• Music: Punk, ska, "alternative", grunge, metal (Black Flag, Rancid, Nirvana, Operation Ivy, Soundgarden, Hole)

• Attitude: Problematic (as in, "attitude problem"), anti-authority, anti-conformist, anti-conventional, cynical, aggressive, no-bullshit... conversely talkative, outgoing (I'm shy), opinionated, tolerant, fun, understanding, laid-back.... um, and stuff

• Education: Minimal; she's smart, she just doesn't like wasting time on more school than necessary

• Job: Grossly overpaid computer-technical geek

• Home: San Jose, California, a wackily-decorated college student apartment

• Car: Funky old low-rider

• Sense of humor: Tasteless, politically incorrect

• Language: Riddled with obscenities and multi-syllabic words

• Social life: A few punk rock friends

• Free time: Lots (she screws off at work a lot (and gets away with it coz of her 1337 technological skillz) and doesn't have a bunch of freakin extra activities... has time to enjoy staring at the ceiling, y'know..?)

• Parents: Blissfully ignorant and uninterested in her shenanigans

All subject to change per my fey whims.

Think I'm an asshole? Talk to The Hand, or if you must, e-mail me.