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Dear Panther: I do know Wolf from the list, he has shown some great insight and had great questions! And here's the good news: Wolf is already signed up to be one of my guests! This whole rally is really shaping up to be an "unforgettable" experience! And one that will leave us all with memories to last a lifetime. I really believe this will bring us all closer together, including those of us who are unable to attend. They will be counting on us to do them proud and bring back loads of information, not to mention a blow by blow description of the whole event! I am actually more excited about this than Christmas! So many of us know each other only through our discussions on the list and now the opportunity to meet face to face? Like you and Wolf. You two kinda represent all of us! allison, who is already starting to clean the house. Spit and polish time! oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
Hey, Wolf, Has he given any indication that he *wouldn't* be interested? Or that hearing about your feelings would make him nervous? How can you tell? I mean how does *one* tell these things? Do we just assume that a guy's straight until he makes an announcement? Has he given any clues? --Panther oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
Clues? This is what's somewhat confusing. Like a lot of guys, he doesn't talk a lot. Sometimes he'll blurt out something about his emotions but usually it happens after he's bottled it up and mulled it over for like weeks. He's never 'blurted out' anything that sounded like 'interest.' I've never seen him 'check out' guys. He has dated some women but those relationships usually fizzle or go bad. He's been married and divorced. But he breaks a lot of proximity rules for guys. He stands close and touches me a lot [like on my arm or back or head]. In a way he's sort of affectionate. He worries about me a lot, so I know he cares about me. He's more open-minded than I realized about slash. So he probably wouldn't *totally* freak if I mentioned that sort of interest outside of my recreational reading. But he can be pretty harsh at times. So the messages are definitely mixed. Makes me nervous. How about you? Any clues from your guy? --Wolf oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
On Fri, 11 Dec 1998, Wolf wrote:
[snip]
The particulars are a little different but it comes down to the same thing -- confusion and nervousness. By the way, have *you* worked out transportation down to the Rally, yet? --Panther oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
On Fri, 11 Dec 1998, Panther wrote:
No. But you know, I've been thinking this over and I'm starting to feel guilty about considering going down alone. Really the only reason I would be going down without my roomie would be if he had to work. And he needs me to help him with his work a lot of the time. And I'd feel as though I were abandoning him, just to go party. That just doesn't feel right. So I don't even know if I'm going -- it all depends on his work schedule. So if we get to go, we'll be driving down together. --Wolf oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
On Wed, 2 Dec 1998, Wolf wrote:
I was reading back in my e-mail log and noticed that one of the things you said about this guy is that he really *sees* you, really knows you; that he's a good bullshit detector. How do you know that he hasn't already gotten an inkling how you feel about him? Maybe he suspects but is waiting for you to either realize it yourself or reveal it to him first. If he's not much on talking about his own feelings, maybe he's hoping for an opening from you. Does this seem reasonable? --Panther oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
On Fri, 11 Dec 1998, Panther wrote:
Oh my god! Fuck yeah! this is reasonable! How did I *not see* this was possible?! Now I'm all paranoid! Panther, what am I going to do?! Help! --Wolf oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
On Fri, 11 Dec 1998, Panther wrote:
Sorry about the last e-mail, man. I had to take a little break and breathe into a paper bag. I'm a little less shaky now. I was thinking of telling him at the rally, since we would be on sort of a vacation and having fun... I would like to associate something like this with fun, you know? But maybe I should tell him sooner than I was planning to. Should I? And how? Maybe you can help me out, here. If *your* roommate were to tell *you* ... well, when would *you* want to know? What words would *you* want him to say? This is funny. Most of the time, I have no problem talking but ...*this* just stops all blood flow to the linguistic centers of my brain. Oh man! This is so more complicated than I want my life to be! Sorry, gotta go find the paper bag again. --Wolf oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
On Fri, 11 Dec 1998, Wolf wrote:
I can't make that decision for you. You are *there* You can see his moods. You know him -- right? And you will know when *you* are ready. Do what makes sense. --Panther oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
On Fri, 11 Dec 1998, Wolf wrote:
Hey, Wolf, I had this idea. Maybe you would panic less if you sort of practiced ahead of time. Maybe a rehearsal. Maybe we could both get over our nervousness this way. Sort of help each other out. Sound like a plan? --Panther oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
I have a question that may be considered on or off topic, depending on how you look at it. As I mentioned here a few weeks ago, I'm in a situation very similar to the one our guys Joe and Jake of The Watchman are in. Well, that is, if you take the slash perspective on the show, which I do. Several of you have presented personal stories and urged me to 'go for it,' tell the guy. My problem is I really don't have any experience with this sort of thing and I'm reaching panic-attack levels of anxiety here. I *so* don't know how to go about this. Any suggestions? How would you have Jake tell Joe? [See, I *knew* I could keep this on- topic...] --Wolf oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
On Fri, 11 Dec 1998, Panther wrote:
Um, Panther, ? What?! Rehearse with each other?! Are you serious? How would that work? --Wolf oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
On Fri, 11 Dec 1998, Wolf wrote:
Wolf, You're starting to panic again. Just calm down. We could just sort of suggest approaches and phrases to each other. You could coach me and I can coach you. A fair trade. Sound OK? --Panther oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
On Fri, 11 Dec 1998, Panther wrote:
So .. OK ... This might work. But maybe we should do this in a chat room so it'll go more quickly, so we don't have to wait so long between e-mails. I'll set it up so that it's by invitation only so we can keep the discussion private. A plan? --Wolf
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