It’s not that I have nothing to do. There are lots of things I could be doing, lots of things I should be doing and an awful lot of things I need to be doing. I just cannot find the motivation to get of my beautifully formed derriere and do something. Even typing this is a real effort.

The trouble with doing nothing is that it leaves you a lot of time to sit and ponder. All day I sit and think about things that I cannot answer. What is the meaning of life? Why are we here? What does the future hold? None of these questions can be answered rationally and the more I think the more depressed I get. The future scares me. This is because I do not know what is in it. Seems fairly obvious really but to me it is terrifying. At the moment I have a reasonable level of security. I live at home, my parents feed me and do an awful lot of stuff for me. What scares me is that in a couple of years I do not know where I will be. But what I do know is that it will not be as good as it is now. I suppose I am scared of getting old. Scared because I know that no matter what I do I will become my parents. I do not want that to happen but it is inevitable. One day I will become that which I despise. Don't get me wrong I like my parents, they are great-Most of the time. But I don't like what they buy in to. The world I hate. With all it's beurocracy, spineless politicians, social injustices blah blah blah. I could go on forever. But what really gets me is the blatant hypocrisy and the greed. Now I'm not immune to being a bit of a hypocrite myself, we all are. But nothing on the scale I see around me everyday. Self interest is the curse of our society. Everybody is concerned about the homeless/starving/*insert problem area* and want to help so long as it doesn't affect them. I would respect people a lot more if they just said look I don't give a shit. But that's not very politically correct is it