| You're not going anywhere |

18.09.02
23:07 pm

After a whie you begin to question why you do it. if the answer isn't for youself then you are wasting your time.

22.07.01
01:19 am

i removed all links because what was on the end of them didn't warrant the use of the left finger.
things to come include: pretty pictures, political outrage, musical nous, willy jokes and much much more

18.07.01
01:11 am

message to self: never become like them.
*sound of head being beaten repeatedly into granite wall*

06.06.01
01:46 am

Site in update horror!!!
yes it's true i put some new stuff up, but it's a pretty piss poor attempt at whatever it is supposed to be. cast you eyes upwards for the links. On the plus side i have had a really great idea for some fiction which i have already started writing, this one WILL be good. I can see the dollars already.

05.06.01
01:38 am

scrabbling furiously:
where the fuck are my nail clippers!? am i losing my mind?

05.06.01
00:23 am

Clever words used today: i farted
Hearing: new TOOL album, very cool. did i mention i am going to see them live on monday? well i am

so as expected best laid plans came to nothing, not to worry i have another set of useless resolutions to pick up right where they left off.
i'm having a bit of a break from uni at the mo, doing some much needed *revision* at home and generally being waited on hand and foot. me like. During one of my somewhat too numerous breaks i have been pondering what to do with this site. sloating frames shall come in so that if i want to change something i don't have to change the links on every goddamn page, all poetry or attempts at literary skill are out as i never was any good at that shit. in shall come pictures! of dead stuff! just what everybody wanted! we definately isn't enough of that around! why am i talking like this!? so i'll get round to this soon, but first to go will be the irrelevance page, what a crock of shit. what was i thinking? in the meantime go and play with zoxsia whist she's still a free woman.

25.04.01
20:45 pm

Clever words used today: hello
Wishing: upon a star
Hearing: deftones- yeah shove it baby

ooo i haven't done this in a long time i wonder if i can remember how. it's been 7 months to be exact and rather depressingly i cannot think of one note worthy thing to write. so to fill the space i'll tell you al what my plans are so that another 7 months down the line i can ,again, not have accomplished them.
1: revise like a bitch and pass my degree.
2: have an awful lot of dirty sex with that girl whose name i've forgotten damnit. Kerry i think. anyway she;s hot.
3: get a job, preferably one with as little contact with other people as possible. god i hate people.
ok that'll do for now bye bye all.

30.09.00
01:08 am

Clever words used today: Tourniquet
Wishing: i knew what the lottery numbers would be this week
Hearing: Voices

I go to uni tommorow to further my education and become a valuable member of society. Gah. I am going to have to reassume regular living hours. It also means that i will not have access to the net for a while. This troubles me, i have made a lot of friends on my travels and i worry things will pass me by during my enforced absence. Who knows when i will walk in this land again.
Anyway i have promised myself that this year i wil work harder than i ever have before. I say that every year. it never happens. anyway, i shall return when the following happen: i get a phone line in my flat, i get a computer. wish me luck
Fitter Happier More Productive

27.09.00
00:46 am

Clever words used today: apt and ambivalent
Wishing: i had black hair
Hearing: At the drive in

My general rule for this bit is that if i don't have anything to say i just start talking. So i am a bit stressed out at the moment. I start uni on monday, i have a nice flat to live in. But i have none of my stuff there and i haven't sorted out any of teh sruff i should have done. This is all down to my general laziness, which worries me because i am going to have to get on and do some work when i get to uni or i will fail(again). i am possibly the laziest person you will never meet. anyway when i get settled in i am going to revamp this place, get a webcam and hopefully i should get hosted. Sweet?

24.09.00
01:54 am

Wishing: I was a balerina
Hearing: A perfect circle

I am working hard at changing the site. Honest i am. i am however running out of time to do it in before i go away to uni so you probably won't see it for ages. I was even thinking about writing some more articles this morning. No need to worry though that urge has gone. Oh i can't be bothered. goodnight. i'll be back when my mind is functioning properly. see you on the other side.

20.09.00

I am pissed off. I have just spent the last half hour chasing a spider round my bedroom. Now i'm not scared of spiders. Well at least that's what i tell myself but more of that later. No now actually dammit. If i see a spider i am not scared, i know this because there is no biological reaction to it by my body. No adrenaline release etc. However if a spider gets close to me i feel incredibly itchy and i really do have to kill it (admittedly i feel the urge to kill a lot of things a lot of the time but you never heard that from me). So i have spent 30 minutes of my life, which is a lot considering i have decided to die young, chasing a fucking spider and i have literally ripped my room apart, my bed is resting against my wall at the moment, everything else has been thrown out the door. This is not rational behavior. There could be a couple of reasons for this:
1: I am unstable (duh)
2: Humans are territorial creatures. The only thing i can think of. The spider poses no direct threat to me but i don't want it hanging round my territory stealing my women and food? Plus as the alpha male it is my job to defend our patch. Thinking about it this explains a lot about human nature. [be warned i am about to over simplify things to a large degree and i will ignore all important facts] it seems as, humans, we are surprisingly willing to kill each other over very small spaces of land. eg: albania, why is this? it's not like the land is overpopulated. so they are from different ethnic orogins. Bull, that's like saying i'm not related to my grandmother. We're not that close but we're still family. Anyway i digress, this small patch of land. It's just our primeval urge to protect our territory so that we have mating rights over the women. mmm mating rights. Does any of that make sense? if it does can somebody please explain it to me.
um, i've now forgotten what i was actually going to say. I have had a nice day. How are you?

14.09.00

Has anyone else noticed that grease smells like pickled onion flavour monster munch?

10.09.00

it's been a few days. Exciting things have been happening, i am travelling to london tommorow to pay the deposit on my flat which shall become my permenant place of residence for the next 9 months. Interesting thing being i haven't yet seen the place. Being the lazy person that i am i left it all to my two flatmates in the hope that they were not retarded and wouldn't get anywhere that was a total cess pool. Before we get there at least. I hope my faith was well placed. In other news, oh that was the only news. I need someone to teach me how to form proper sentances. Everything i write tends to have a long winded rambling quality to it. Which is only partly intentional. A hahaha. I have one you don't.
So i was thinking about cheese. whoose idea was that? "lets stir milk for a week and see what happens". "great idea". and we all died.

05.09.00

I'm pretty bored. Problem being i have a short attention span, stuff that amused be yesteday i now find dull and overlook. Porn for example, initially very exciting but quickly becomes dull. Oh she has various garden vegetables in her, big deal. Things have gone full circle i was just pondering. Again we must make our own entertainment. TV is no longer enough, i fear for our future. Ok that's a lie i don't give a damn about all of you. I fear for my future.
So an odd thing happened the other day i discovered a girl who i actually find attractive likes me. How odd, unfortunately she has a boyfriend. If only he were dead.....

03.09.00

Two consecutive updates, almost unprecedented. I figured out how to get mousover to work so i have updated the splash page. All together now *ooooh*. in an interesting experiment i'm going to enter "porn" as one of the keywords and see how many hits i get. I'm expecting millions; those kerazy kids, when will they learn. you'll go blind. I'm suffering from a bit of a mental block at the moment, i have a lot of ideas buzzing round in my head but i can't seem to get them out of there, hence the total lack of anything of substance being put up here. anyway pffft to all this i'm going to bed.

02.09.00

Okay so i haven't updated for ages. I have so much time on my hands i can't find time to do it. If you want to see something hilariously funny go look at the forum. I am in the process of redesigning the site as i have a sparkly new html editor. I think i will bring in a new feature which i shall refer to as *spontenaity*. Give me a topic and i will ramble about it for a while. It will give me something to put in this place when i am devoid of ideas should be interesting. Until these new changes arrive you will have to put up with what's here and me writing something nonsensical in this bit. In the meantime i want some attention: this is my icq no: 81051061

26.08.00

I wrote something huge and sprawling here but it didn't make sense so i deleted it. There.

24.08.00

I'd sell my soul,
My self esteem,
A dollar at a time for one chance,
One kiss,
One taste of you, my magdelena. (a perfect cicle-mer de noms)

20.08.00

I am not dead. Just resting.
so i got bored of spending half my life on the internet and decided not to use it for a while. Inevitably i got bored so here i am. I thought that when logged back on after what seems like a lifetime away (5 days) i was hoping, nay expecting to find something interesting to look at, something new that would grab my imagination. what ddi i find. Fuck all. the internet WILL not broaden your horizons it will NOT expand your mind NO meaning of life shall be found, time shall be passed. END.

03.08.00

In order to update this bit i actually need to have done something. I wish i'd thought of that at the time. Kicked some sim ass on perfect dark. all day, no really all day.

30.07.00

Haven't been doing much recently. killed a few brain cells the other day at jest's party. thank's for that jest, by the way can i have my violin case back, ta. Yes i got far too drunk, but fortunately managed to not do anything stupid, unfortunately this was becuase i managed to do nothing. All my best layed plans gone to waste, nghaaagh. Still things are looking up, or is that i'm looking up at things. One is good. I am rambling, i don't care.

25.07.00

I recently passed my driving test (at the third time of asking but we don't mention that ok) due to this i have been trying to pay of my catalogue of owed lifts. This i don't mind, unfortunately it means no alcohol. It's ok though i have learnt that i can have a good time even if i am not pissed, which is reassuring and a lot cheaper. I also discovered that i enjoy being toyed with. it hurts the next day but at the time it sure is fun.

19.07.00

Some dreams never come true.
Some dreams never die.
It's the ones that don't do either that bother me.

13.07.00

Well i haven't updated for fucking ages. i don't really know why, it's not like i have had nothing to incessantly bitch about. I think it's just that the incipid futility of my existance has spewed over into my online persona. so now i can't even be bothered to complain about it anymore. i will update soon. i promise. On your life.
It was my birthday yesterday. i was 19. I realised that in the 365 days since i turned 18 i have managed to accomplish exactly fuck all with my life. what a reassuring thought.

07.07.00

I haven't updated for ages. Not to worry though i have a load of new articles on the way just as soon as my brain submits them. damn file transfer system. Governments, can't live with em, can't take power in a military coup. Makes me think of some thing some guy once said."democracy is the least bad form of government". hmm yes that will do.

05.07.00

I really am not in the mood to do anything at the moment. I'm far to depressed, i've passed the angry-want-to-shout stage and i'm just kinda wallowing in self pity. Why you ask (yeah yeah i know you don't care) well no reason really, it's the little things, they just add up. old ladies get in my way in the street, my toast is burnt. naturally this leads me to want to kill everybody i have ever met. naturally.

02.07.00

The weekend has been pretty good all in all. I went out and got horrendously drunk on friday and saturday evenings and as a consequence i feel like shit and can't be bothered to update. I will leave you with this advice: If you try to say "bum" at least once in each conversation you have, life will feel so much better. I guarantee it.

30.06.00

I've spent most of the day playing around with the html for this place. Time that should really have been spent looking for a job or learning to drive. I have been putting off doing these things for far too long now so I had better get on and do them. Tomorrow. This is so much more *fun* than real work. I am such a lazy bum. I cannot form sentences.