She's purty

So there I am standing in a video rental store round the corner from my flat in London, which is actually a pub but never mind. Don’t know why I am here or why Jennifer Lopez is standing next to me or why every body in this world wears long leather jackets. Anyway me and Jen, who go back a long way, decide to spice things up a bit and screw in the store. Cool. We decide the best spot for this would be behind the sofa in the furniture section (of a video store?). Before we can get down to it however some punk steals my wallet, which had been discarded in the dash to get neked. I chase after him, leather coats swirling around us (why don’t we have guns? Stupid dream) and leap at him grabbing his leg and pulling him to the floor. *Cue slow motion sequence*. He turns to me and I see his face, it has a feral demonic like appearance in the obligatory shade of red. He kindly informs me that he has my soul before disappearing (with my wallet the bastard) for some reason everything is still in slow motion. The brain obviously realises this is a shit tangent and we cut to a scene in the doorway of the building where I live. Me and Jennifer are obviously still feeling randy and decide to do it against the wall (fine by me). Unfortunately this is about the time I realise that I am dreaming as there is no way I could have removed her bra that quickly using one hand, nice imaginary breasts though. In a semi waking state, deciding that I definitely want to continue this thread of plot I drift back into sleep.Unfortunately it doesn’t go to plan. We are for some inexplicable reason swimming down a river through a really huge golden field of corn or something. Depressingly all clothes are still on and she is rambling something about “missing artefact…” and I am beginning to think that I had better go save the world. Which is about the time it all gets a bit odd and my brain decides I had better wake up.