Pussy Footing

I met Selena---a sleek, rather attractive, black woman of 45 years of age--- at Baptist Hospital in Miami. I was there to conduct a session on relaxation techniques and she was there to attend a meeting of Overeaters Anonymous.

We met in the hospital cafeteria, where she was eating a small bowl of dry cereal and I was drinking an iced tea. Selena possessed an addictive personality. She could become addicted to almost anything in her environment that might be of interest. A year prior to that time Selena had been 50 pounds heavier. She was a compulsive eater and especially liked foods that contained sugar, such as bananas, oranges, ice cream, and candy. Most alcoholics who have achieved some degree of sobriety have a craving for sugar, and she and I were both alcoholics. If she encountered bananas, she might eat the entire bunch. Once I offered her a piece of candy and she recoiled from it just as Dracula would recoil from garlic or a cross.

Selena was also a drug addict. At the age of 12 she smoked marijuana and drank tall cans of Budweiser, hanging out with older black men who provided her with these substances. Later she graduated to cocaine and hard liquor. Back then she had almost no money and today she still has very little money. She has no car and doesn't drive, so she often travels around Miami on the city buses. She even does her grocery shopping via bus. Sometimes friends provide her with transportation and I was one such friend. She likes to refer to me as her white chauffeur.

Among other things, I would take her to meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous. When we went to these meetings we would often get there early. I would then read her the poetry of poets such as Robert Frost, Dylan Thomas, and Edgar Allan Poe. I even played her a tape of Dylan Thomas reading his own poetry with his wonderful voice sometimes referred to as "Welsh Singing." Although she hadn't finished high school, she just loved poetry. Selena especially liked Thomas's poems "Fern Hill," and "Do Not Go Gently Into That Good Night." His "A Child's Christmas In Wales," which is perhaps second in winter seasonal popularity only to Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol," also delighted Selena. Occasionally she asked me the meaning of certain words, and after a while I found that I had to carry a dictionary in my car. I also read some stories to her that I had written---ones that I thought she would like.

One day she said, "Make up some more exciting stories, Higgins---spice them up a bit." So I told Selena I could tell her a story about Basketball Betty. I warned her, however, that the story would be very sexy, and that if it were a movie it would be X-Rated. She appeared shocked. "Don't you say another word about this. I don't want to hear it. I am still a good girl and I attend mass every Sunday, Higgins." She said that every day she practiced meditation and prayer. She said that meditation was listening to God and prayer was talking to God. She especially liked the Serenity Prayer, which is as follows: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

So I said, "O.K., Selena, I won't tell you about Basketball Betty."

We were driving along Bird Road at the time and continued on for another 10 minutes in silence. Then, in a very quiet voice, Selena said, "Higgins?"

"Yes," I said.

"Tell me about Betty."

"Betty who?" I said, teasing her.

"You know which Betty," said Selena.

"I just want to be sure," I said.

"Betty Basketball," said Selena.

I said, "Oh, you mean Basketball Betty."

Selena said, "Yes."

She listened to my story in silence, giving no particular reaction to it. But then she said, "Do you know any other stories about this Betty?"

When I met her at Baptist Hospital the addictions had loosened their grip and she was a good-looking, relatively, happy woman. But as a buffer or a protective device she continued to attend meetings of Overeaters Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous. She was always fearful of relapse, or "slipping," as it is sometimes called.

One day while driving Selena back to her apartment she asked me to take her to Sears. She needed to pick up a few items---some lipstick, perhaps a skirt and a blouse. We went directly to the women's clothing section and Selena started sifting through skirts, blouses, and sweaters. She told me to hold my arms out straight in front of me with my palms up. Selena then began laying skirts across them. As they piled up, they began to be heavy and it became difficult to keep my arms out straight in front of me. This became a more difficult task when she layered blouses, sweaters and other clothing on top. Selena then led the way to the clothes changing rooms and I followed. When we arrived there it was awkward for me as I was the only man and most of the women were black or Latin. Signs on the doors of the changing rooms said "Enter with only four garments at a time." Selena removed them from my arms seven at a time and vanished into the changing rooms. It seemed to me she disappeared for a half hour each time and there I was standing among the chattering women. Finally she ended up purchasing only one red sweater.

We moved on to the lipstick section and in a way it became more complex. I found myself crawling on my hands and knees, as the lipsticks had been placed down low. Selena was crawling along in the next row. She had told me the code numbers we were to locate. In other words, we were attending to codes rather than to colors. After 25 minutes we were unable to locate the lipsticks she desired so we left Sears.

Although I had chauffeured Selena from place to place around Miami for some time and spent a great deal of time with her, I had never made a pass at her, as I felt she was having some personal difficulties but was making remarkable progress. She was an attractive woman. Every time I took her home we sat in the parking lot outside of her apartment and talked for a while but she had never invited me in.

But the evening did come when she said, "Would you like to come in for a while, Higgins?" She sat on the couch and I sat in a straight-back chair across from the couch.

Well, neither of us wanted an alcoholic beverage because for an alcoholic, one drink is too many and a dozen drinks are not enough. We settled for a glass of Acqua di Nepi, an inexpensive carbonated natural mineral water. Selena topped our drinks with a slice of lime and a swizzle stick to give them the appearance of a mixed drink. Selena put a CD of Duke Ellington on her player, scooped up her fluffy cat, and sat back on the couch.

Selena said, "Higgins, would you like to pet my pussy?"

I said, "I would love to if you would just get that cat off of your lap."

Signed Higgins

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