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On my 19th birthday my best friend threw me a surprise party at a really nice hotel. I was supposed to meet her at the entrance and then we would go up to the room where a mutual friend was getting ready to go out with us. I had no idea what was going on, and my best friend was so hammered she couldn't stand up straight, but I didn't think anything of it. When I walked in the door all the lights were off and then everyone yelled "Happy Birthday" and sprayed silly string crap all over me. I hadn't even set down my bags when they bum rushed me over to the table where there were eight little dixie cups lined up for me. In order to put my stuff down I had to drink them all. Six were filled to the top with Vodka, and the other two were jell-O shots. Drinking them made me gag, but it's a small price to pay to the party Gods. After I had sat my stuff down, I was handed two beers, a bottle of Malibu rum, a nice J, and a wad of ones. They blindfolded me and I had to finish everything in order to receive my present. 45 minutes later they sat me in a chair and took off the blindfold. At this point I was so drunk that in order to see better I had to close one eye, and my eyes had been shut for a long time. So when the blindfold came off it took me a good two minutes to realize there was a stripper in front of me.
To make a long story short, I ended up yaking fifteen minutes later, but not after the stripper had decided to make me part of the show by undressing me. I was "raging!!" as we like to say, so I didn't have a problem with it. Apparently I puked all night, and the next morning I woke up in the hotel bed with the stripper's boxers on and my shirt half off with no bra. I continued to puke, one being I hadn't ever thrown up from drinking too much (I have a reputation of being a very big drinker), and two because there was this horrible smell that seemed to emit from every orifice of my body. From what I was told, the stripper sprayed whipped cream all over and he and I and rubbed our bodies together on the bed, but no one had bothered to clean it up. And let me tell you, the mixture of rotten whipped cream and drunk just does not go well together. All in all, I was awake at the party for about and hour and a half, and I pretty much missed the rest of it. But, lemme tell you about those pictures!! I can tell I had one hell of an hour and a half!
Signed Lindsay Ransford
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