The Lemon Gin Incident

Myself, John, Tony and Blair decided one day to buy a couple of bottles of lemon gin and have ourselves a little party that night. We were all under age, however, I had my friend Kelly's Birth Certificate so I was elected to go to the liquor store and buy the stuff. The boys had just dropped me off and I had the gin in my hand when who should come walking in but my father. I quickly ditched the two bottles and circled around behind him to say hello, saying that I had spotted him going in the store and popped in to say Hi. We made small talk while he filled his cart and when he got to the check out I gave my package a squeeze, retrieved the gin and put it down in front of him. He looked at it and at me and said, "Alright but I'm not paying for it!" The boys saw me come out with Father and were amazed to see me coming toward them with a bag rather then being dragged back to the house for a beating.

Tony had borrowed his mother's car for this little excursion and had to have it back. As we were driving past John's house, we decided to hide the gin in the back of his uncle's big white 3-ton truck. So we backed up, climbed up, opened the back and hide the gin under some boxes. Off we went to drop off the car, happy in the thought of the fun to be had that night. However, John's mother and seen the car backing up and thought something was up. She went out and pulled herself up on the back of the truck and spotted the gin. She took it, leaving the mix and went on.

Later that evening we were up on the truck and discovered that the booze was gone. Pissed off or what! Someone saw us and took our booze. Some quick thinking let us to realize that the only person who could have seen us was John's mother who hated the idea of him drinking. So John went home and, after much searching and rummaging managed to find the booze hide away in the attic. He took it back and we hide it somewhere a lot more secure. However he left the hatch to the attic open and his mother noticed it right away. Minutes later, all throughout the community you could hear "John, get the hell back home". We were found out again.

So I accompanied John back home and the interrogation began. We were not long cracking. She decided that she would keep our bottle for herself and the other was to go to the boys that paid for it, and there had better be no booze on our breaths tonight. She also dissed us about buying a women's drink.

So the boys got their gin and we got to watch. Just as well for us. By this time we had ditched the mix, so the boys took turns drawing it back in straight gulps. Not surprisingly they soon started to feel a tad under the weather. Blair went off with his girlfriend to the ball diamond and deposited the better part of what he ate that year in the dugout. Tony stayed with us and was in the same state. After he finally had enough of staggering around and fell down, we put him in the recovery position so he would not choke on his own puke. By and by we decided that he had entertained us enough and we dragged him back to his house. Fortunately his mother was not home so we got him in no worries. We put him to bed (Gloria insisted in watching as he was undressed) and we made good our exit. John's mother dutifully gave us a sniff as we came home and was satisfied that we had not indulged.

And thus ended the famous Lemon Gin Incident as it has come to be known. The moral, if there is one - Don't hide a women's drink in the back of your uncle's white 3-ton truck parked next to your mother's house when you are under age!

Signed Jerry

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