Posted by Brian Hatten on Sat Sep 23 01:52:18 2000: IP Address: 202.139.227.210
What happens to the money you pay? In most cases, I hope, the children benefit but I've heard many tales in which the money is spent on "grog" or some other vice.
A few years ago my ex-wife's youngest sister married, had a child then had the marriage annulled. The father was told to pay $50.00 per week, on a monthly basis, in child support. It seemed fair to me - a man contributing to the welfare of his children, but was it? When the monthly payment was due the new boyfriend would rub his hands together calling the contribution "beer money". Two more children and marriage number two is over.
In July, 1997 my wife walked out and left me to care for our three children. A few months later she sent two police officers around to "check on the kids" and ask for a visit from our youngest son who was six years old. Unfortunately, being naive, trusting, and with no parenting plan in place I agreed but when I arrived to collect him I was refused access to him and I was told me he did not wish to return with me. Subsequently she filed for child support. (We have a parenting plan and I am the primary carer for my son. My two older children have grown up and are making their own way in life).
My situation was - I had primary care of our two teens, she was caring for our six year old, I was still working, and she was not - and I was paying $70.00 per week in child support. I felt this was a bit unfair but the children's welfare and well-being is more important. Did my son benefit? Where did the $280 per month go?
It was fourteen months before my son returned to me. Upon his return he was covered in "school sores", his asthma was untreated, he had attended two schools (at one school he threatened the principal with an iron bar), and he had lived at four different addresses (including some time living underneath a house without access to a toilet when the occupants weren't home). On top of all this, his mother was struggling with an addiction to prescription drugs and alcohol. Nearly $4000.00 - where did it go?
Just to rub salt into the wound the nice people at CSA took another $900.00 in "arrears" out of my tax refund. I complained about the $900 debit I was told it was an over-payment but I had to wait for the CSA to collect from my ex. It's been seventeen months and I have yet to receive any payments.
So, how can a payer ensure the money, which is paid in child support, goes to where it is supposed to go? There is a provision which credits a parent buying clothing or paying school fees etc. However, this system requires co-operation from both parents and it's not always workable. It's sad, and sometimes frustrating, to see people put their own selfishness before the care and well-being of the true victims of any family breakdown - the children.
Follow Ups:
Post a Followup
