Posted by hassan on Wed Mar 21 18:16:42 2001: IP Address: 212.138.47.24
In Reply to: MY FUCKING GOLF CLUBS DID WHAT? posted by Wolfgang on Thu Jun 29 12:16:12 2000:
: So I get this call in the middle of the night from Catie asking me if she can borrow my golf clubs.
: I'm a pretty trusting guy, so I say sure, go for it. She mentions that she and her friends are molesting
: goats and climbing school buildings for fun this summer. Cool, whatever, just don't molest any goats
: with my golf clubs. Sure, no problem, she said, we're just planning to wreak some minor havoc and
: try to seriously piss off the cops, the school board, mom, Reeker's mom, the mayor, the president,
: Janet Reno, Elian Gonzalez's father, Fidel Castro, Charlie Rose, Keanu Reeves and whoever else
: we possibly can. Whatever, I say, just remember: no goats.
: So I go about my business getting the stable ready to open, putting the ponies out to pasture, getting
: the bumper stickers printed up, basically just minding my own business when I get a call from a local
: goat farmer. The moment he told me he was into goats, I knew. I know someone who is into goats too,
: I thought. Unfortunately, into goats in a bad way. With golf clubs. With MY golf clubs!
: Then the cops call and want me to come down to the station and identify my clubs. Apparently they
: were used in some sort of barnyard "incident". That's all I get out of the cheerful police officer. When I
: get down to the station, he takes me to the morgue. Suffice it to say, the only visible part of my golf
: club was the handle. That's my 3-wood, I said. How did it get that far in there? Well, sir, that is the
: question of the hour, says the officer.
: So that brings us up to date. Now I have to appear in court and identify my clubs. Which means I'll have
: to wear a suit. I hate suits. And all because I let Catie borrow my golf clubs.
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