The story you are about to read is true. I am the author, the witness and one of the characters! Since this story occurred over several years, I am writing about the last few months and the last days.
To and from the
hospital by ambulance, personal
car, and in the wee hours of the
mornings, trips were made in every
attempt to bring comfort, and save
the life of a loved one so dear to
me! With hearts pounding, emotions
flowing, and tears of sadness each
time, the family members were doing
our best to hold on and maintain
our strength! For three years,
twenty four hours a day, my aunt
and I were on call. We lived in the
house and cared for the person we
loved so dearly. In the last year
the doctors came to me and said "it
is time to seek the care of a
Nursing Home". The answer came very
easily; "NO, that is not an
option". "We will make a nursing
home with love and constant care"
in the house. And so we did. The
personal bedroom was converted into
a hospital room. Nurses were placed
on twenty four hours contact, as
was the personal physician. Having
EMT training myself, I could do all
vital signs and keep records. The
nurse (RN) would come three days
per week to do the required checks.
Since I could not legally
administer shots, blood draws, or
do catheters, I would assist the
nurse with these tasks. My aunt
and I would take shifts. One would
sleep while the other remained
awake. She being in her mid sixties
left her to awaken me if things
were getting more complicated. For
you see, in the last year we had a
senior who was once again like a
baby. With guidance from the
doctors, nurses and the CNA's, my
aunt and I learned. We were taught
how to do necessary things for a
semi bedfast patient. Later on as
more deteriation came, changing a
bed from mattress to pillow, and
clothing from head to toe, while
the patient was still in bed,
became a quick, well organized
maneuver. In the last six months
this was required to be done four
or five times in a twenty four hour
period. Feeding, and medications
administered on time and every
time. The last two weeks, I was
advised to allow the hospital to
take over and allow us to deal with
our own emotions. This was once
again not an option! The last four days.
In the six years prior, the three
years of constant care, the six
months critical care, and the four
weeks final care, my aunt and I
were advised by medical staff "you
must rest". "The patient is getting
more care" than anyone they had
ever witnessed from family
members. Dementia (likely
Alzheimer's) and end stage liver
disease of an unknown origin, were
the major illnesses. The main
problems were, everything that
could go wrong--- did. The
expectations by the physicians were
many times changed by the patients
reaction. In short what was the
norm proved to be the abnormal for
this person! As the family,
gathered for the inevitable last
days, emotions were pouring out to
each other for strength. Although
other family members were arriving,
my aunt and I were still
maintaining our schedules. Some
relief was given for minutes or
maybe an hour or so. For you see,
there now was not time to give
training to others to help. We
just-- did-- as time was running
out! The nurses came with their
lap top computers, the doctor was
accessible at all hours. The
minister was in and out as his
schedule permitted. Family members
and very close friends were
gathered near. For months the
patient had not know individuals.
Even the four daughters were not
known by face or by name.
Grandchildren came and went with
that look upon their faces??? My
aunt and I were known by name until
the time when that which takes
memory away-- did. Up until the
last 5 days my aunt was known. For
weeks I was mistaken for two
different deceased brothers. One of
which died in WWII. In the last
week, I was viewed as a late
husband, and at times as myself.
Many times words were spoken into
the corner. Who are you talking to
was ask? My mama, my daddy was the
reply. From her eyes for months she
would look into the corner of the
room. A man stood there without a
name yet she spoke to him. He was
there in the house and also the
hospital. The answer to whom she
was speaking when this occurred was never stated.
For a full day, some 12 hours,
she turned from side rail to side
rail. Pulling herself up she would
reach to be held. My aunt on one
side and I on the other we held her
with love. The time drew nearer,
and four days prior, into a
comatose state the patient slipped.
On the 3rd day prior,
catheterization again was required.
Morphine then was administered via a
pill insertion, not a needle. Not
for pain was this given, but for
rest. Questions were ask,
suggestions were made. decisions
pressed the last nerves. IV's would
make things worse, by prolonging
the time. Do we, don't we? The
answer NO! The body functions were
failing. Fluids in must result in
fluids out. The mechanical organs
that made this possible had ceased
to function. There for, it would
have created pain. The answer
NO! What is keeping the patient
here? Why with all the organs now
shutting down, is the transition
being kept on hold? The last night. Two daughters present, one at 35,000 ft. heading WEST to EAST. Another had left for the night to take care of personal home affairs. What is keeping the patient here? Nephews, neices, great grandchildren, special friends were in the house. As quiet as mice, one now, and one then walked into the personal bedroom to have a moment of personal time. Their thoughts were that they could not be heard, or maybe they could? Three a.m. walking into the room once again, I held the patient as close as I could. My words spoken, "your Bunny is flying home tonight. She will be here tomorrow. Everyone is here and we love you so. It is ok now, Grandma, you may go. We love you and will miss you so. What is it your are waiting for? Your home awaits you in heaven! Your body is tired, you have done everything for us you could. You, from birth a mother to me, we will all be here with you. It's ok now to go!" With a kiss, I left the room with my tear stained face. I sat down at the kitchen table for a cup of coffee to help me stay awake. I lit a cigarette and from my hand it fell. My mother she said you must rest, it is for the best. As though I had been sedated I fell into sleep. I heard mother in a stupor I could not explain. The first time in three years--- on the job I went to sleep. A touch upon my shoulder words spoke "she is going"! I jumped and ran to her and held her gently in my arms. The last breath was leaving and from me she passed. What was it you were waiting for dear Grandmother? Was it for me to fall asleep? For your daughters from your room go, to a place to weep! With one on the left of the bed, Hardin, who she loved dear. Shirley on the right of the bed, another close to her heart. It was then with loved ones not of blood kin, from the room between two angels, she walked from her house. The eyes, hearts and minds could not believe what was seen. The clock on the wall at the head of the bed logged the time. The minute hand was flipping to 1/4 after seven and back to the even hour. The sound in the room was silent except for the ascension air. The movement as Grandma passed into the promised land. Behind left the shell, so beautiful as it was. Still warmth I could feel. I check for a sound of heartbeat, and pulse but no longer. Someone spoke to me and said the CNA is here, what should we say? I walked from the room and said, hi Cindy, it will be a short day. Her look was worried, she ask is Grandma ok? Is she back in the hospital? I said no Cindy she is with the Lord today! Tears began to flow down her cheeks. She reached her arms, each other we held. One request Cindy, would you call Robin (RN) and dress her nicely please. Today she must leave her house of over 50 years. I cannot dress her today before she leaves. No call was needed, as Robin walked through the door. You are here early today? Something told me I was needed was her reply! With this these two angels went into the room and ask everyone to step out. As if staged, the phone rang, Dr. Steve was calling. In his near choaking voice he poured out his heart. What seemed hours but only half of one or so, the two special angels ask us to step into the room if we wished. Our moments with her before the earthly body had to leave. In the bed lay a lady of beauty, dressed in a blue satin gown. Her hair was like a silver halo. Upon her face not a frown. The linens all changed, she was bathed and creamed. Her appearance was, her eyes closed and only in a doze. I kissed her and held her hand, from my face endless tears they ran. Enter family and friends, the quiet sounds of sobbing and the gentle touching of hands. It was time now for Grandma's earthly body to be taken from this house. She would leave but her spirit in this house would remain. The funeral director came and said we will do our best! I said please make sure she leaves with her feet going first. It was her request. Grandma had stated many times "The only way she would ever leave her little "birdhouse" was for you fellers to take her out feet first". The doorway was drapped from our view. From her bedroom she was moving I knew. Slight sounds of movement were heard as the undertakers quietly moved her away! The door to the bedroom was closed, and not opened again for months except by friends. They made sure the hospital room was converted back into the original form once again! It took a very long time for my aunt or I to enter this room. I now sit and write this story without any gloom. For you see she is here, I feel her presence. Grandma has reassured us in various ways. She moves about at night. Her footsteps so very light. She appeared to loved ones within days. Touching my aunt in the middle of the night and calling her from a doze in the day. As I walked from this room one night, I turned with fright. I heard clear as a bell, my name called, I thought she had fell. Looking back into the room I said you are such a nut. It is not possible get out of this rut. For three nights, my two aunts and I viewed a blue light. The light was coming from a star. Such we had not seen before. It hung in the sky, very very low and very near. At the same place each night. We watched with wonder. We talked to the star and let our feelings pour out. After the third night never again has it appeared above this house. When the loved one Shirley, at Grans side when she died, in the hospital lay with pain in her heart. The star appeared over the hospital just as bright. It remained through the night. The next night it was gone. The day brought good news and the pain was gone. It was a couple more days and the loved one was home. You think this is made up, well it is not. I would not believe it myself! If I were alone when these things occurred, I would question my sanity. You see it is not only me, who is being reached. It is not only three, it is the ones she loved most who are being granted the view of the host. This story has many, many more parts, but it is too much to give from my heart. Sharing with you this experience would be grand, the typing is from a weary hand. If you were present you too could see, those wondrous experiences that come to me! From her bedroom where I sit,
my Grandma moved from her house to her eternal home!
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