Pystoff

Maybe this will sound like I'm a whining weanie, but I found while I was compiling this list, that it had a very therapeudic effect upon me. I guess that venting one's frustrations is not too bad an idea after all. So without any further explanation...I present to you: PYSTOFF! The people, places and things that drive me to the brink of insanity (and sometimes back again)! ;)

Mike Harris
Daylight Savings Time
Skunky beer

Credit cards
People who play the guitar better than me
Bad breath & B.O.

Bad hair days
Rust
6 foot snow drifts in my driveway

Gossips
45 cent stamps
PBS Pledge breaks

Pot holes & speed bumps
The subtle difference between YIELD & MERGE
The idiot who doesn't know enough to turn off his high beams

Astrology
No hot water left for MY shower
Mystery meat sandwiches

Flat tires
Racism
Burning my tongue

Broken promises
People who keep their Christmas lights up year round
Layoff notices

Telephone solicitation
Zits
Hiccupping & sneezing at the same time

Mosquitos
Water in the basement
Dr. Quinn (Medicine Woman)

G.S.T.
Someone picking up the phone and disconnecting me
Liver

Having to act responsibly just because I'm a so-called adult
Paper cuts
An over proliferation of Shoe stores, Donut shops & Pizza joints

The Energizer Bunny
Auto repairs
Ridiculous names for ordinary colours

Hair balls
That time of the month
No clean undies

Bilingualism
Cannibilism
Narcissism

Getting hit "square"
Black ice (not the beer)
Running out of junk food, ink, toilet paper & ideas

The Grim Reaper
Incompatibility
Cigarettes

Sunburns
Having to play by the rules
Censorship

Holier Than Thou hypocritical attitudes
Striking out
Planned obsolescence

TV Evangelists
The dry heaves
Unfriendly salespeople

Detours that take me miles out of my way
Dubbed movies & lip-synching musicians
Loud parties at 3 a.m. that I'm not invited to

Weak coffee
Construction directly in front of my house
Season premieres that wimp out

Growing old before my time
Traffic jams
Trying to figure out the right-of-way at a 4-way stop

The metric system
Pagers
Excessive nasal hair

Dead batteries
The deep end
Lyposuction instead of excerise

Tories
A blank piece of paper
Canadian content regulations

Corn caught between my teeth
Dragonflies
Cancer

Christmas hype
Having to say "excuse me" for farting
Close minded people

Sagging, bulging & wrinkling in all the wrong places
The Rolling Stones Geriatric World Tour
Politicians, lawyers & overpaid athletes

Morons who must swerve left before making a right turn
Radio stations that never tell you the name of the artist
An inside joke that I just don't get

Poems that don't rhyme properly
Slow Internet connections
Storm clouds

Defective body parts
Moldy food & sour milk
Bev the Commissionaire

Windshield frost
Pretty boy actors that need to be taken seriously
Road kill that I'm unable to steer around

Winter & the other non-summer seasons
Crappy cable reception
A runny nose

Cartoon characters that speak with an unfamiliar voice
Sour notes & faces
Incompetence at work

Reruns
Weather people that give the forcast in percentages
No second helpings

People who are fashionably late
Being in the overdraft two days after payday
Migranes & Hemmorhoids

Plastic surgery obsession
Dog poop on the bottom of my shoe
System crashes

Disconnect notices
Xenamania
Lower back pain

That mysterious puddle of liquid underneath my car
Hat Head
Getting ordered up

Projectile vomitting
Weekdays that crawl & weekends that swiftly vanish
Danny the Dweeb on the Y & R

Having to be a good sport...
Having to win with humility...
Having to accept defeat gratiously...

Sniffles, sneezes & the other associated snot-season maladies
Drawing a blank
Having a 33.6 modem yet only getting connected at 28.8

Microsoft bashing
Dirty mice
Chafing

Realizing that 1.2 billion kilobytes ain't quite as limitless as I had first envisioned
Little Boys Clubs that absurdly disguise themselves as adult affiliations
Dust on my trophies which acts as a metaphor for my own mortality

Gratuities
My bagel getting stuck in the toaster
Oily skin

Bad Speling
Red Lights
Water In My Ears Or Basement

Not Getting A Single Correct Number In The Lottery...Again
Not Being Able To Get My Guitar In Tune
GETTING MY CAPS LOCK STUCK

The Fact That If I Dropped A Single Match On The Ground, The Entire Forest Would Be Subsequently Incinerated But Try As I Might, I Still Can't Get The Stupid Campfire Lit

Spilt Beer
NSF Checks
Being On The Last Notch On My Belt

Getting Caught Cheating
Razor Burn
"Professional" Wrestling

Shows That I Used To Love As A Kid That Are Just Plain Stupid When I Watch Them As An Adult
Being Unable To Get The Remote To Work Regardless How Much I Shake It Or Reposition The Angle Of Attack
A Power Outage That Causes Me To Have To Reprogram The 46 Electric Clocks That Are Scattered Around The House

Nuclear Testing
My Relection (Some Days)
Vasectomies

Stephen King for making me think of the apocaplyse every time the flu season rolls around and we hear of some new strain of influenza that has mutated from an unknown origin. Scary shit!

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Mike Harris	Daylight Savings Time	Skunky beer
Credit cards	People who play the guitar better than me	Bad breath & B.O.
Bad hair days	Rust	6 foot snow drifts in my driveway
Gossips	45 cent stamps	PBS Pledge breaks
Pot holes & speed bumps	The subtle difference between YIELD & MERGE	The idiot who doesn't know enough to turn off his high beams
Astrology	No hot water left for MY shower	Mystery meat sandwiches
Flat tires	Racism	Burning my tongue
Broken promises	People who keep their Christmas lights up year round	Layoff notices
Telephone solicitation	Zits	Hiccupping & sneezing at the same time
Mosquitos	Water in the basement	Dr. Quinn (Medicine Woman)
G.S.T.	Someone picking up the phone and disconnecting me	Liver
Having to act responsibly just because I'm a so-called adult	Paper cuts	An over proliferation of Shoe stores, Donut shops & Pizza joints
The Energizer Bunny	Auto repairs	Ridiculous names for ordinary colours
Hair balls	That time of the month	No clean undies
Bilingualism	Cannibilism	Narcissism
Getting hit "square"	Black ice (not the beer)	Running out of junk food, ink, toilet paper & ideas
The Grim Reaper	Incompatibility	Cigarettes
Sunburns	Having to play by the rules	Censorship
Holier Than Thou hypocritical attitudes	Striking out	Planned obsolescence
TV Evangelists	The dry heaves	Unfriendly salespeople
Detours that take me miles out of my way	Dubbed movies & lip-synching musicians	Loud parties at 3 a.m. that I'm not invited to
Weak coffee	Construction directly in front of my house	Season premieres that wimp out
Growing old before my time	Traffic jams	Trying to figure out the right-of-way at a 4-way stop
The metric system	Pagers	Excessive nasal hair
Dead batteries	The deep end	Lyposuction instead of excerise
Tories	A blank piece of paper	Canadian content regulations
Corn caught between my teeth	Dragonflies	Cancer
Christmas hype	Having to say "excuse me" for farting	Close minded people
Sagging, bulging & wrinkling in all the wrong places	The Rolling Stones Geriatric World Tour	Politicians, lawyers & overpaid athletes
Morons who must swerve left before making a right turn	Radio stations that never tell you the name of the artist	An inside joke that I just don't get
Poems that don't rhyme properly	Slow Internet connections	Storm clouds
Defective body parts	Moldy food & sour milk	Bev the Commissionaire
Windshield frost	Pretty boy actors that need to be taken seriously	Road kill that I'm unable to steer around
Winter & the other non-summer seasons	Crappy cable reception	A runny nose
Cartoon characters that speak with an unfamiliar voice	Sour notes & faces	Incompetence at work
Reruns	Weather people that give the forcast in percentages	No second helpings
People who are fashionably late	Being in the overdraft two days after payday	Migranes & Hemmorhoids
Plastic surgery obsession	Dog poop on the bottom of my shoe	System crashes
Disconnect notices	Xenamania	Lower back pain
That mysterious puddle of liquid underneath my car	Hat Head	Getting ordered up
Projectile vomitting	Weekdays that crawl & weekends that swiftly vanish	Danny the Dweeb on the Y & R
Having to be a good sport...	Having to win with humility...	Having to accept defeat gratiously...
Sniffles, sneezes & the other associated snot-season maladies	Drawing a blank	Having a 33.6 modem yet only getting connected at 28.8
Microsoft bashing	Dirty mice	Chafing
Realizing that 1.2 billion kilobytes ain't quite as limitless as I had first envisioned	Little Boys Clubs that absurdly disguise themselves as adult affiliations	Dust on my trophies which acts as a metaphor for my own mortality
Gratuities	My bagel getting stuck in the toaster	Oily skin
Bad Speling	Red Lights	Water In My Ears Or Basement
Not Getting A Single Correct Number In The Lottery...Again	Not Being Able To Get My Guitar In Tune	GETTING MY CAPS LOCK STUCK
The Fact That If I Dropped A Single Match On The Ground, The Entire Forest Would Be Subsequently Incinerated But Try As I Might, I Still Can't Get The Stupid Campfire Lit
Spilt Beer	NSF Checks	Being On The Last Notch On My Belt
Getting Caught Cheating	Razor Burn	"Professional" Wrestling
Shows That I Used To Love As A Kid That Are Just Plain Stupid When I Watch Them As An Adult	Being Unable To Get The Remote To Work Regardless How Much I Shake It Or Reposition The Angle Of Attack	A Power Outage That Causes Me To Have To Reprogram The 46 Electric Clocks That Are Scattered Around The House
Nuclear Testing	My Relection (Some Days)	Vasectomies
Stephen King for making me think of the apocaplyse every time the flu season rolls around and we hear of some new strain of influenza that has mutated from an unknown origin. Scary shit!