Abuse and Mutilation of the English Language in the online community

Listen, people, to what I say….

There are times when language is not to be taken lightly. There are times when communication comes before free spirited rollicking.

And the first communication is one of those times. Let me just make a few things clear.

I don’t know where I was when this happened, but In MY universe:

U DOES NOT EQUAL YOU

R DOES NOT EQUAL ARE

UR DOES NOT EQUAL Your OR You’re

Your and You’re ARE NOT interchangeable

And an I that stands alone is to be capitalized!!

Such are the examples of verbal idiocy that I see rampant on the net each day. Other examples of the corruption of the English language are extreme baby talk, Extreme ‘ghetto speak’ or a combination of the two. I don’t know who these people are trying to venerate or what subculture this is, but it’s not amusing, nor cool. It’s verbal idiocy. It does not in any way enhance the effectiveness of the communication; in fact it limits it.

Words that end in ING should not drop their g’s unless it’s for the purpose of mimicking some accent. The rules of punctuation should always be followed, and for the love of whatever higher power you choose to believe in people, switching rabidly between cases is just to be avoided at all times!

Here are a few examples of ACTUAL things written in the above styles:

(original text)

14/f/md/blond/blue/5'3/sports-LAX and runnin and soccer&skiin,snowbordin r all the sports i care bout theirs my basic shit i live in a fucking small minded town my school sux and every1 can kiss my ass! heres my shout outs-GIRLZ:chelsa'! taylory'(what does seafom green mean???and what color were thoes drkins???lol) nicole,jerri, angela,liz,lisa,sarah,taylor ,brennan ,steph,christina,sally, morgan,nicole,kelsey, alison,ashley,kristen

BOYS:kevin,colin,jeff,jeff, wade,tyler(he said 2 say he has a big sumpthin wouldn't know but whatever)james,robby ,jd,jowdy,steve, and timmy the ugly ass skank, GREG!and brent i still love you

bye bye

Tiffany*

******@hotmail.com

*name changed to protect the guilty

Now, let’s view a few of the flaws in this, shall we?

hey,Animonique im sleepin(hahaha) so leave a message

14/f/md/blond/blue/5'3/sports- Lots of information packed into an unduly small space. If one wishes ton convey this much information, one should set up a separate place to do so in full sentence form. This of course is just a personal pet peeve. This sort of ‘infobabble’ IS generally accepted

-LAX and runnin and soccer&skiin,snowbordin r all the sports i care bout- Use of both ‘and and ‘&’ looks sloppy and incomplete, r is used in place of are, I is not capitalized

theirs my basic shit i live in a fucking small minded town my school sux and every1 can kiss my ass! – Theirs should be there’s, swearing is used profusely and you’ll find my tangent about that later on, and the word Sux does not exist. Sucks exits, but not sux. The same applies for the word every1. It annoys me to no end when people use numerals as letters to save type space. If you’re too last to type one instead of 1, then you shouldn’t even bother trying.

bye bye- Ugh. The entire concept of Shout outs makes me a little nauseated, but That aside, verbally this is a disgrace. First of all, all of those proper nouns should be capitalized, every single one. Girls does not end in a ‘Z’. Seafoam is spelled with an A in it. I believe (but I can’t be certain) that the phrase ‘thoes drkins’ is meant to be "those drinks". Sumpthin is NOT a word. Something, or in the very least, Somethin’ is a word. As the final flourish the aforementioned leaves another standing I and the lowercase, swears a bit more, and ends with an un-capitalized farewell.

Now, if I were to edit this passage into proper English, it would appear more like this (yes, I’m including the shout out, not by choice but by principle):

Infoblock-14/f/md/blond/blue/5'3/sports

LAX, running, soccer, skiing, and snowboarding Are the only sports I care about. There’s my basic info. I live in a corrupted, small-minded town. My school sucks and everyone can get the %&* away from me!

Heres my shout outs-GIRLS: Chelsa'! Taylory' (what does seafoam green mean?! And what color were those drinks? Lol) Nicole, Jerri, Angela, Liz, Lisa, Sarah, Taylor , Brennan , Steph, Christina, Sally, Morgan, Nicole, Kelsey, Alison, Ashley, and Kristen.

BOYS: Kevin, Colin, Jeff, Jeff, Wade, Tyler (he said 2 say he has a big something wouldn't know but whatever) James, Robby ,JD, Jowdy, Steve, and Timmy the ugly skank, GREG! And Brent, I still love you.

Good-bye for now.

Tiffany*

******@hotmail.com

*name changed to protect the guilty

Fortunately I wasn’t able to procure a sample of the wavy style of rapid case change text. Apparently that’s in decline.

Now for my little tangent on swearing. In and of itself, for the purposes of true emphasis, words such as Damn and Hell are all right. They serve a purpose as soulful interjections that can truly add feeling to a piece of work. They can be amusing when used to imitate some accent, or just to add punch to a line. But they do not have, nor any other swears for that matter, real meaning in every day language. Peppering sentences with swears proves only that one isn’t articulate enough to find another word better suited to your purpose. It’s just as much of a linguistic faux pas as filling sentences with placeholders such as ‘Like’ or ‘Um’ or ‘Ya know’.

Now, you may be scoffing at me, and thinking that I have no business telling you how to speak. It is after all, a free country. Well, nobody is making you read this.

You’re doing it of your own free will.

Yes, I AM your English teacher. Am I not an English speaker? Do I not have the right to babble on about my beliefs? If the country is free for you to mutilate the language, then it’s also free for me to take a stand against that mutilation. The literacy rate of this country is dropping at an alarming rate. Books are out of fashion, and grammar going with them. I still hold some things sacred, and the written word is one of them.

The ability to communicate so effectively is a GIFT. To abuse it is blasphemy.

Language exists to transfer ideas from one mind to another. How effectively you complete this task helps others to judge your intelligence. Would you type this way if speaking to an English teacher? An employer? Your parents? I think not. So why not afford the rest of the population of the world the same respect?

America, sit up strait, don’t mumble, and for the Love of all that is sacred, speak your mind with clarity.

~© 2000 Animonique~