| F i c t i o n : 0 / e x s e q u i a r u m | |
| 08-03-99
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Dead
now. This section will be back someday when I'm... when.
~1:45 am |
| 07-20-99
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I feel strange, undefined. I don't know whether I'm glad/relieved or happy/content, or if I'm on the verge of becoming unglued. I really don't know. I know nothing, nothing. |
| 07-19-99 | Things were discussed. |
| 07-18-99
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Intermission: went to Coven13 after a 7-month absence. Very little has changed. |
| 07-16-99
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It's funny really. I was wrong/barking up the wrong tree. Ha-f*ing-ha. Spent most of the day in Hell. Then around 3 or 4 p.m. I woke up or walked out of it and some semblance of logical thought returned. |
| 07-15-99 | Everything is dark. My demons are loose. |
| 07-14-99
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It has been 3 days since it was made and I can't even ask. Please please please please tell me it was just a joke, just another flippant remark and nothing more. I fear. Oh how I fucking fear. |
| 07-11-99
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Absynthe: my Bob what fun! The last (and only) time I went was back when it was still at The Probe, with NeWarrior. Hmm... that was a major landmark-in-one's-life sort of night too, being the night I understood certain things, mainly that I was still... ah, well never you mind. |
| 07-10-99 | The L.A. Philharmonic at the Hollywood Bowl... yawn-ish. |
| 07-07-99
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Theophastuus' crank seal needed replacement so I brought him to the dealer and spent most of the day waiting at a sibling's house in 1000 Dead Oaks, watching weird TV. He seems to be running fine now. |
| 07-06-99
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Someone whom I haven't seen since Halloween just showed up at my door unannounced last night. It was a very, very nice surprise. I wish this happened more often. |
| 06-26-99 | Yet another working weekend *sigh* I am so tired. |
| 06-20-99
|
I saw "The Blair Witch Project" last Friday night. This was at M's house. Pandora had had quite a bit to drink and was sort of passed out on the couch with us so it was just M, Mary-Isadora and I. It was a bootleg copy and therefore the sound sucked but... it's absofuckinglutely the scariest, creepiest movie I've ever seen and I loved every minute of it. I can't wait to see it again! |
| 06-18-99
|
Went to Perversion last night and had a lot of fun this time. Everyone was there, it seemed like, especially people I haven't seen in ages. Then of course it got unbearably hot and packed later. Someone almost poked my eye out on the floor, and I wasn't even dancing. |
| 06-14-99 | NeWarrior is ill. Sadness, helplessness... |
| 06-13-99
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It's past midnight and I'm watching... I don't know what it's called but it's Tom Waits singing live! I'll probably be late for work again tomorrow. Oh well. NeWarrior will be in town this week. Exclamation points galore. |
| 06-08-99
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The Story of the Pipes =) ...so adorably/unbearably cute. Aaaargh!!! Ummm, please excuse the dorky behaviour... I'm just happy that's all. |
| 05-31-99
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Exhausted by the last 48 hours (lab, Repent, lab) and feeling a little lazy, I decided to spend the day with la familia in Dead Oaks, eating and watching TV all day. Yes, I feel like a pig. Our parental units are in town, staying with my sister and Empire who spends most of his day in the closet hiding from the house guests. Then I went home around 9 and talked to R on the phone till midnight. |
| 05-27-99
|
P cancelled =( but I went anyway. Perhaps I should've stayed home instead. Too many people I've never seen before and too many spastic dancers on the floor. In other words it sucked. I danced to exactly 2.5 songs, said Hi to exactly 6 people, and went home before one while I was ahead, a record. |
| 05-26-99
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Yay! I'm going to Perversion with Pandora tomorrow. It doesn't exactly have the best dancefloor in the world I know but I haven't gone anywhere in such a long time (Repent doesn't count cuz it's like work) I don't really care and I haven't seen P in ages either. I'm sooo excited it's silly. |
| 05-24-99
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Warning: stop reading now if you're easily offended by public displays of affection. Just kidding. Me-sa scared you-sa didn't I? =) |
| 05-19-99
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All lab instruments are telepathic and talk to each other in a secret machine language. For example: if one ICP breaks down another will follow in sympathy. So today it was fun and games with the mass-spec. The signals for the lower masses dropped down to practically nothing and it took me most of the day to troubleshoot/tune the damn thing. |
| 05-15-99 | The night ended quite badly. 'Quite badly' is being diplomatic. |
| 05-13-99
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ICP hell, day 10: contemplating sacrificing a small animal at this point. |
| 05-06-99
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Saw The Creatures with Pandora and Mary-Isadora at the House of Blues. I still don't like the place very much. It reeks of Normals even when they're not there, if that makes any sense. |
| 05-03-99
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Work sux. One of the ICPs is giving me hell with potassium. I've tried everything but I can't get the initial calibration check to pass and... eh, never mind. |
| 05-02-99
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Repent kicked ass; didn't forget anything this time. Traffic was quite horrible though. I should try to leave earlier next time. Sadly DeMo forgot to bring their tape of last week's 48 Hours where they were interviewed. |
| 04-25-99
|
Last night Pandora and I went to Ceremony (the last one supposedly) where I witnessed one of those rare faith(in humanity)-restoring things. But afterwards as the last car of a 3-car, pizza-hunting convoy I almost hit an suv that was making an illegal turn... its occupants, Normals, looked at us as though they had the right of way and we were the stupid f*s. Equilibrium restored. |
| 04-19-99
|
Saturday's Repent was a disturbing experience: I was late through no fault of my own, and I forgot to bring my boots and thus felt naked all night, and there was some activity on the strippers' stage again which was no longer amusing. And there were other things too, like stress-induced dick behaviour but whatever. I don't really care because I'm not depressed anymore, i.e., it's nice and sweet Elsewhere. Wheee =) |
| 04-13-99 | Severely depressed still. I wish I was dead. |
| 04-10-99
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Looks like I'm getting a refund this year for a change. Not that it matters. |
| 04-04-99
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Last night's Repent went very well. No strippers this time as promised. Unfortunately a fan of that metal guy people keep confusing with Ours slipped past Locutus and a regrettable thing happened. We're gonna have to come up with some kind of policy so this sort of embarrassment doesn't happen again. Elsewhere: all is as it should be. |
| 03-28-99 | I'm so full of shit. |
| 03-22-99
|
"The time has come to close your eyes/The time has come to realize..." This is what they're singing now, Inside. I'm afraid, I'm sad. But this thing has never been anything but inevitable. |
| 03-18-99
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Suffering from insomnia... had 3 hours 'sleep' last 'night' after spending 11 at work. Work sux... buried with nasty, crappy samples but this is good. Elsewhere: the people Inside seem to have reached an accord of some sort in the wake (fore?) of the storm. Me I don't care. Whatever works I guess. |
| 03-15-99 | Calm once more. |
| 03-12-99
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Overloaded/shortcircuited something inside because I feel nothing now. This is good, much more preferable than the other thing. It's like there's a thick glass barrier between me and all the shitty things and feelings. I can see them but I feel nothing. |
| 03-10-99
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Declined to hear 'the truth' when offered... because I am so not prepared to hear it right now. I suspect I'll see/experience it soon enough, with or without my consent. Hurting badly. I think it's only beginning. Again. |
| 03-08-99 | I'm sick with fever, depressed and distressed. I wish I was dead. |
| 03-06-99
|
Repent,
opening night... my first DJing gig. It was a lot of fun. Thinking of quitting
my day job =)
|