ALIENS TO BRING SWIFT END TO KOSOVO CRISIS?

ALIENS TO BRING SWIFT END TO KOSOVO CRISIS?

ROSEBURG, Ore. (Wireless Flash) -- NATO forces fighting in Kosovo may soon be getting some out-of-this-world help. That's according to an 83-year-old man in Roseburg, Oregon, who claims to be Earth's "ambassador to an extraterrestrial star fleet." "Ambassador" Stan Johnson claims an extraterrestrial bigwig known as "Commander Astar" has revealed that the E.T.s are contemplating sending a spacecraft to help rescue ethnic Albanians in Kosovo. However, Johnson says Commander Astar hates to interfere with Earth matters so the aliens may try an alternative plan to stop the feuding, such as flooding Yugoslavia or creating a giant earthquake.

CONTACT: Stan Johnson, *****; Roseburg, OR; (541) 459-3109