MOENCHENGLADBACH, Germany (Wireless Flash) – A German man has been found guilty of drunk driving in a wheelchair. The 49-year-old was so tanked he couldn’t walk, so he borrowed his dad’s electric wheelchair to go to the liquor store for more booze. Police stopped him and confiscated his wheels because he was over the legal limit for driving.

LONDON – Samuel L. Jackson isn’t afraid to go “commando.” The actor says he wore his costume of a kilt without underwear in true Scottish tradition while filming a new movie in the U.K. Only cold weather and certain camera angles caused him to don undies.

LONDON – The actor who plays Harry Potter’s giant friend in Harry Potter And the Sorcerer’s Stone has just been voted England’s favorite “fat bloke.” Robbie Coltrane outweighed Mark Addy and John Goodman in the fat guy poll by Chat magazine.

NEW YORK – Manhattan is becoming “Pokemon-hatten” now because a 13,000-square-foot facility dedicated to Pikachu and friends opens in Rockefeller Center November 16.

LONDON – Madonna is up a tree over the lack of privacy at her London mansion. The Sun tabloid reports the Material Girl recently spent $15,000 to have full-grown trees lifted by crane into her garden to ensure no one will see her.

DALLAS – Tom Hanks has beaten out John Wayne as America’s favorite movie soldier in a poll conducted by Blockbuster Video. Other celebs who make great cinematic soldiers include Sylvester Stallone, Mel Gibson and Clint Eastwood.

HELSINKI – A Finnish telecom operator is baring it all for its customers. Sonera officials say the company will start offering a few hundred test clients a mobile phone version of Naked News, a show where the newscasters cast off their clothes.

BOGOTA, Colombia – A car bomb turned out to be good luck for about 1000 Colombian lottery players. News stations broadcast the license plate of car bomb, VEN-311, and people who saw were inspired to bet on the number “311” won around $350 – about three times the average Colombian monthly salary.

LONDON – A bishop was called in to perform an exorcism on Oxford United’s soccer stadium since the team has been on a terrible losing streak. The bishop said he didn’t perform a formal exorcism, but did bless the ground – which some claim is cursed by gypsies.

NEW YORK – Let Freedom Ring – on your cell phone that is. Patriotic Americans can now download the song “America the Beautiful” onto their cell phone ringers for free courtesy of the website real-war.com.